1.英语文章,笑话,谚语

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问："主啊， 一百万美元对你意味着多少？"上帝回答："一便士."男子又问："那一百万年呢？"上帝说："一秒钟."最后男子请求道："上帝，我能得到一便士吗？"上帝回答："过一秒钟."

once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"

两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”

Cat and Mice

Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.

" What's in your box?" asked the friend.

"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."

"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.

"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.

布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。

I think that I'm a chicken

Psychiatrist:What's your problem?

Patient:I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist:How long has this been going on?

Patient:Ever since I was an egg!

精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？

病人：我认为我是一只鸡。

精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？

病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

很难收到的，选我噻

2.英语常用的谚语,短句,名言

1.一个人总要走陌生的路，看陌生的风景，听陌生的歌，然后在某个不经意的瞬间，你会发现，原本是费尽心机想要忘记的事情真的就那么忘记了。

One is always on a strange road, watching strange scenery and listeningto strange music. Then one day, you will find that the things you tryhard to forget are already gone. 2.幸福，不是长生不老，不是大鱼大肉，不是权倾朝野。幸福是每一个微小的生活愿望达成。

当你想吃的时候有得吃，想被爱的时候有人来爱你。 Happiness is not about being immortal nor having food or rights inone's hand. It's about having each tiny wish come true, or havingsomething to eat when you are hungry or having someone's love when youneed love. 3.爱情是灯，友情是影子，当灯灭了，你会发现你的周围都是影子。

朋友，是在最后可以给你力量的人。 Love is a lamp, while friendship is the shadow. When the lamp is off,you will find the shadow everywhere. Friend is who can give youstrength at last. 4.我爱你不是因为你是谁，而是我在你面前可以是谁。

I love you not for who you are, but for who I am before you. 5.爱情，要么让人成熟，要么让人堕落。 Love makes man grow up or sink down. 6.举得起放得下的叫举重，举得起放不下的叫负重。

可惜，大多数人的爱情，都是负重的。 If you can hold something up and put it down, it is calledweight-lifting; if you can hold something up but can never put it down,it's called burden-bearing. Pitifully, most of people are bearing heavyburdens when they are in love. 7.我们每个人都生活在各自的过去中，人们会用一分钟的时间去认识一个人，用一小时的时间去喜欢一个人，再用一天的时间去爱上一个人，到最后呢，却要用一辈子的时间去忘记一个人。

We all live in the past. We take a minute to know someone, one hour tolike someone, and one day to love someone, but the whole life to forgetsomeone. 8.一个人一生可以爱上很多的人，等你获得真正属于你的幸福之后，你就会明白一起的伤痛其实是一种财富，它让你学会更好地去把握和珍惜你爱的人。 One may fall in love with many people during the lifetime. When youfinally get your own happiness, you will understand the previoussadness is kind of treasure, which makes you better to hold and cherishthe people you love. 9.年轻的时候会想要谈很多次恋爱，但是随着年龄的增长，终于领悟到爱一个人，就算用一辈子的时间，还是会嫌不够。

慢慢地去了解这个人，体谅这个人，直到爱上为止，是需要有非常宽大的胸襟才行。 When you are young, you may want several love experiences. But as timegoes on, you will realize that if you really love someone, the wholelife will not be enough. You need time to know, to forgive and to love.All this needs a very big mind. 10.当明天变成了今天成为了昨天，最后成为记忆里不再重要的某一天，我们突然发现自己在不知不觉中已被时间推着向前走，这不是静止火车里，与相邻列车交错时，仿佛自己在前进的错觉，而是我们真实的在成长，在这件事里成了另一个自己。

When tomorrow turns in today, yesterday, and someday that no moreimportant in your memory, we suddenly realize that we r pushed forwardby time. This is not a train in still in which you may feel forwardwhen another train goes by. It is the truth that we've all grown up.And we become different. 11.离开我就别安慰我，要知道每一次缝补也会遭遇穿刺的痛。 If you leave me, please don't comfort me because each sewing has to meet stinging pain. 12.曾经拥有的，不要忘记。

不能得到的，更要珍惜。属于自己的，不要放弃。

已经失去的，留作回忆。 Don't forget the things you once you owned. Treasure the things youcan't get. Don't give up the things that belong to you and keep thoselost things in memory. 13.我喜欢并习惯了对变化的东西保持着距离，这样才会知道什么是最不会被时间抛弃的准则。

比如爱一个人，充满变数，我于是后退一步，静静的看着，直到看见真诚的感情。 I love and am used to keeping a distance with those changed things.only in this way can I know what will not be abandoned by time. Forexample, when you love someone, changes are all around. Then I stepbackward and watching it silently, then I see the true feelings. 14.男人的爱是俯视而生，而女人的爱是仰视而生。

如果爱情像座山，那么男人越往上走可以俯视的女人就越多，而女人越往上走可以仰视的男人就越少。 Men love from overlooking while women love from looking up. If love isa mountain, then if men go up, more women they will see while womenwill see fewer men. 15.好的爱情是你通过一个人看到整个世界，坏的爱情是你为了一个人舍弃世界。

Good love makes you see the whole world from one person while bad love makes you abandon the whole world for one person. 16.在自己面前，应该一直留有一个地方，。

3.drop和give up有什么区别/

drop有一个掉下的过程，比如扔垃圾就用drop；它最想give up的意思是停止 丢开（某事），强调丢开。比如：Let's drop the subject.我们别谈这个话题了。、When the baby cries her mother drops everything to go and attend to her.小孩哭闹时，她妈妈放弃一切去照料她。

而give up是放弃（某物）；停止（做某事），更侧重于放弃。比如give up smoking戒烟、give up hope放弃希望

4.谚语 笑话

一猎人打猎，看树上有两只鸟，举枪打下一只，发现是只没毛的，那猎人正纳闷，另一只鸟飞下来大骂猎人：“你TM的！老子刚把她扒光，你就把她打下来了！”

A和B坐飞机事故跳伞被食人土著捉住，两人求饶，酋长说，你们各找5个球形物塞到自己的屁股里，就放你们走。A从口袋取出五个核桃，痛苦的塞起来，塞到3个就快不行了，但他居然还在笑。酋长很好奇，就问，你都这鸟样了，还笑？A说，你看那个傻~B，爬树上摘椰子去了。

总统携夫人视察养猪场。

总 统：“请问那头健壮的种猪一天和母猪交配几次？”

场 主：“一天平均有十来次吧！”

总统夫人：“你看看人家！再看看你！”

总 统：“请问那种猪每天都是和同一只母猪交配的吗？”

场 主：“不是的，它是和不同的母猪交配的。”

总统对夫人说：“你看看人家！再看看你！”

5.来点搞笑的英文谚语啊 最好不是直译的

Better be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. 宁做鸡头，不做凤尾。

The foremost dog catches the hare. 早起的鸟儿有虫吃。 Every potter praises his own pot. 老王卖瓜，自卖自夸。

The fox preys farthest from home. 兔子不吃窝边草。 The proof of the pudding is in the eating. 要知道梨子的滋味，最好是亲口尝一尝。

One swallow does not make a summer. 一花独放不是春。 One drop of poison infects the whole tun of wine. 一颗老鼠屎坏了一锅粥。

Set a fox to keep one's geese. 引狼入室。 What do you expect from a pig but a grunt？ 狗嘴里吐不出象牙。

6.关于dog的谚语

clever dog 聪明的人 like a dog with two tails 无比高兴lucky dog 幸运儿lazy dog 懒家伙yellow dog 无赖dirty dog 坏蛋it rains cats and dogs 下倾盆大雨die like a dog 不得好死Barking dogs seldom bite.吠犬不咬人（意指：对于高声发出恐吓，或惯于大声吼叫的人，勿须当真）。

Every dog has his day.凡人皆有得意日（意指：大家都有走运的一天）。 Dog does not eat dog.同类不相残；同室不操戈。

a cat-and-dog life 争争吵吵的日子 Dog does not eat dog. 同类不相残，同时不操戈 Dumb dogs are dangerous. 不叫的狗咬人 Give a dog a bad name and hang him. 谗言可畏，欲加之罪，何患无辞 go to the dogs 每况愈下 hang-dog look 愁眉苦脸 If the old dog barks, he give the counsel. 老狗叫，是忠告。 Love me, love my dog. 爱屋及乌 He is a lucky dog. 他是个幸运儿。

lead a dog's life 过穷困潦倒的日子 not have a dog's chance 毫无机会 top dog 当权派；头儿 treat sb. like a dog 不把某人当人看 a hunting dog 猎犬 a lazy dog 懒汉 a gay dog一个快乐的人 a dirty dog 下流坯 dog-days n.[pl.]三伏天， 大热天； 无所作为的时期， 无精打彩的日子 A good dog deserves a good bone. [谚]好狗应该啃好骨头， 有功者受赏。 A living dog is better than a dead lion. [谚]死狮不如活狗。

A staff [stick] is quickly [soon] found to beat a dog with. [谚]欲加之罪， 何患无辞。 An old dog barks not in vain. [谚]老狗不乱吠； 老狗 一吠， 就得小心。

An old dog will learn no new tricks. (=You cannot teach old dogs new tricks.) [谚]老狗学不了新把戏； 老年人很难适应新事物。 as [like] a dog with two tails 非常开心[高兴] Barking dogs seldom bite. [谚]爱叫的狗 不咬人； 咬人的狗不露齿。

be (old) dog at (a thing) 对。有经验； 对。

很内行 Beware of a silent dog and still water. [谚]提防不吠的狗， 小心 静止的水。 come like a dog at a whistle 一呼即来 Every dog has his day. [谚]凡人皆有得意日。

Every dog is a lion at home. [Every dog is valiant at his own door.] [谚]狗是百步王， 只在门前凶。 Fight dog, fight bear. [谚]打个青红皂白， 一决雌雄。

Give a dog a bad [an ill] name(and hang him). [谚]一旦给人加一个坏名声， 他就永远洗刷不掉； 人言可畏。 It is ill to waken sleeping dogs. [let sleeping dogs lie; don't wake a sleeping dog.] 别多事， 别惹麻烦。

lead a dog's life 过着牛马不如的生活 love me, love my dog. [谚]你若把我当朋友， 也要把我的朋友当朋友； 爱屋及乌。 Scornful[Hungry] dogs will eat dirty puddings. [谚]人到危急时， 平时所不屑做的也要做； 急不暇择， 饥不择食。

teach an old dog new tricks 使守旧的人接受新事物 teach the dog to bark 教狗怎么叫（意指多此一举） The dog returns to his vomit. 狗回头吃自己吐出来的东西； 重犯旧日罪恶。 A living dog is better than a dead lion.一条活狗胜过一头死狮. The cat and dog may kiss, yet are none the better friends.猫狗可以相吻，但不会成为好友。

Dumb dogs are dangerous. 不叫的狗咬人 Give a dog a bad name and hang him.谗言可畏，欲加之罪，何患无辞。

7.求各种英语俚语,谚语,俗语

American English slangs 美国俚语 美国口语俚语（1） 1.clock in 打卡 Don't forget to clock in,otherwise you won't get paid. 别忘了打卡，否则领不到钱。

2.come on to 对。轻薄；吃豆腐 Tanya slapped Bill after he came on to her. Tanya在Bill对她轻薄之后打了他一巴掌。

3.come easily 易如反掌 Languages come easily to some people. 语言学习对有些人来说易如反掌。 4.don't have a cow别大惊小怪 Don't have a cow! I'll pay for the damages. 别大惊小怪的！我会赔偿损失的。

5.push around 欺骗 Don't try to push me around！ 别想耍我！ 美国口语俚语（2） 1.keep one's shirt on保持冷静 Keep your shirt on. He didn't mean to offend you. That's just the way he talks. 保持冷静。那只是他说话的惯常方式，他并非有意要冒犯你。

2.cool it冷静一点 Cool it. You are making me mad. 冷静一点。你快把我逼疯了。

3.joy ride兜风 Let's go for a joy ride. 让我们去兜兜风。 4.rap说唱乐 Do you like rap music? I have trouble understanding the words. 你喜欢说唱音乐吗？我听不太懂其中的歌词。

5.red-letter day大日子 This is a red-letter day for Susan. She made her first sale to a very important client. 今天是susan的大日子。她和一个非常重要的客户做成了第一笔生意。

美国口语俚语（3） 1.go up in smoke成为泡影 Peter's vacation plans went up in smoke when a crisis arose in the office. 办公室出了问题，peter的假期泡汤了。 2.hit the road上路 We should probably hit the road. It's going to take us two hours to get home. 我们可能该上路了吧？到家的两个小时呢！ 3.shape up表现良好，乖 You'd better shape up if you want to stay on. 如果你还想留下来的话最好乖一点儿。

4.scare the shit out of someone吓死某人了 Don't sneak up behind me like that. You scared the shit out of me. 不要那样从后面突然吓我。你吓死我了。

5.pull strings运用关系 （源于“拉木偶的线”） He pulled some strings and managed to get us front row seats for the concert. 他运用关系替我们拿到音乐会前排的位子。 美国口语俚语（4） 1.come again 再说一遍 Come again? I didn't quite understand what you said. 再说一遍好吗？你刚说的话我不明白。

2.come clean 全盘托出，招供 The criminal decided to come clean. 罪犯决定供出事实。 3.spring for 请客 Let me spring for dinner. 我来请客吃饭吧。

4.spill the beans 泄漏秘密 Don't spill the beans. It's supposed to be a secret. 别说漏了嘴，这可是个秘密哦！ 5.stick in the mud 保守的人 Cathy is such a stick in the mud. She never wants to try anything new. Cathy真保守，她从不想尝试新事物。 美国口语俚语（5） 1.john厕所 I have to go to the john. Wait for me in the car. 我要去厕所。

在车里等我一下。 2.keep in line管束 He needs to be kept in line. He's too wild. 他太野了，要好好管束一下。

3.jump the gun草率行事 Don't jump the gun. We have to be patient for a while. 不要草率行事。我们应该耐心等一会儿。

4.jump to conclusion妄下结论 Don't jump to conclusion. We have to figure it out first. 不要妄下结论，先把事情搞清楚。 5.lemon次 This car is a real lemon. It has broken down four times. 这辆车真次，已经坏了四次了！ 美国口语俚语（6） 1.fishy 可疑的 His story sounds fishy. We should see if it's really true. 他的故事听起来可疑。

我们应该看看到底是不是真的。 2.flip out 乐死了 Chris flipped out when I told him that we won the game. 我告诉克里斯我们赢了比赛时，他乐歪了。

3.fix someone up 撮合某人 I think Xixi and Macaulay would make a perfect couple. Let's fix them up. (Haha,just kidding：) 我想习习和macaulay会是理想的一对，我们来撮合他们吧。（呵，开个玩 笑，习习和macaulay不会生气吧？：） 4.take a shine to 有好感 He really likes you. There are very few people he takes a shine to right away. 他真的喜欢你。

他很少对人一见面就有好感的。 5.third wheel 累赘，电灯泡 You two go on ahead. I don't want to be a third wheel. 你们两个去好了，我不想当电灯泡。

美国口语俚语（7） 1.ripoff 骗人的东西 What a ripoff! The new car I bought doesn't work！ 真是个骗人货！我买的新车启动不了！ 2.rock the boat 找麻烦 Don't rock the boat! Things are fine just the way they are. 别找麻烦了，事情这样就够好了。 3.blow it 搞砸了，弄坏了 I blew it on that last exam. 我上次考试靠砸了。

4.in hot water 有麻烦 He is in hot water with his girlfriend recently. 近段时间他跟女友的关系有点僵。 5.put one's foot in one's mouth 祸从口出 Wally is always saying such stupid thing. He has a real talent for putting his foot in his mouth. 沃力尽说这种蠢话。

他真有惹是生非的本事。 美国口语俚语（8） 1.flop （表演、电影等）不卖座，失败 The movie was a flop. Nobody went to see it. 这部电影卖座率奇低，没有人去看。

2.drop in/by/over 随时造访 Feel free to drop in anytime. I'm usually home and I'd love the company. 欢迎随时来坐坐。我通常。