1.给我几句英语谚语、小笑话

1. Virtue Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student. When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 美 德 获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。

一天，电梯里很拥挤，有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有换过。

最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，”她低声说道：“坚持不懈是一种美德。”

2. Difference "I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down." 区 别 “研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。

研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。” 3.Too Long The travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier. She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct. "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive. Whenever the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long." 太久 一家报纸的旅行版编辑打开电话，说她终于决定要采用一篇我几年前写的文章。

她想确定那旅游信息是否还可靠。“我还想确定，”她怯怯地坦白道：“您是否还健在。

每次发现作者已经不在人世了，我才知道我将文章压得太久了。” 4.Charge for Bread and Butter Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services. Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services." Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter." The $1.50 was returned without delay. 面包和黄油费 几年前，我当律师的爸爸带我去纽约的一家高档餐馆。

帐单上来时，上面有1.5美元的面包和黄油费。爸爸付了帐，连同面包和黄油的收费一齐付了。

但是第二天，他给餐馆寄了一封信，说那项收费是没有道理的。随信还寄上了一张500美元的法律服务机构的收费单。

餐馆马上打来电话，问道：“这500美元的收费单是怎么回事？我们从来没有要什么法律机构的服务。” 爸爸答道，“我也从来没有要什么面包和黄油。”

那1.5美元立即就寄了回来。 5. Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning." "That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday？" 安眠药 鲍勃晚上失眠。

他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。 星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。

他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。” “好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”英文谚语大全 /Article/ShowArticle.asp?ArticleID=275Each bird loves to hear himself sing. 鸟儿都爱听自己唱歌。

Each day brings its own bread. 天无绝人之路。 Each man is the architect of his own fate. 命运掌握在自己手中。

Eagles catch no flies. 大人物不计较小事情。 Eagles fly alone, but sheep flock together. 鹰单飞，羊群集。

Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble. 早期的错误可以酿成日后的麻烦。 Early sow, early mow. 播种早的收获早。

Early start makes easy stages. 早开始是成功的保证。 Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy and wise. 早睡早起，令人健康、富有而且聪明。

Early wed, early dead. 早婚早夭。 Easier said than done. 说话容易做事难。

East or west, home is best. 在家千日好，出门时时难。 Easy come, easy go. 易得易失。

Eat at pleasure, drink 。

2.英语谚语,笑话,小知识

英语谚语

/proverb.htm

笑话/otherweb/e_c/joke/index.htm

英语小知识：Can Fish Drow

Yes,fish can drown.It isn't the water that keeps fish alive, but the oxygen in the water . Fish breathe through their gills, which draw oxygen from the water. When too many fish crowd together in a small pond or tank,the oxygen in the water may soon be used up.When this happens,the fish suffocate,which is what happens when any animal drowns

鱼会淹死吗

是的。鱼同样会淹死。使鱼能活着的并不是水，而是水中的氧气。鱼用其鳃进行呼吸，从水中吸取氧气。当过多的鱼拥挤在一个小水塘或小水池里时，水中的氧气很快就消耗尽。在这种情况下，鱼就会窒息而死。这与其它动物淹死的情况是完全一样的.

3.谁有有趣的英文故事、谚语或笑话

Does the dog know the proverb, too?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

狗也知道这个谚语吗？

一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

Let me take it down

An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."

"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."

为我所用

一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”

“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。

Do You Know My Work?

One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.

Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.

“Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.”

“You don't know my work,” said the other.

“What is your work?”

“I'm a policeman.

“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.

“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”

译文：（自己简单翻译）

你知道我是干什么的吗？

一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。

两个人站在外面，看着大火。

“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”

“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。

“你是干什么的？”

“我是警察。”

“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。

“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”

4.给我几句英语谚语、小笑话

Actions speak louder than words.事实胜于雄辩。

Business is business.公事公办。 You never know what you can till you try.是驴子是马，抄拉出来遛遛。

Whom the gods love die young.好人不长命。Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold them！ 斯丹：我赢袭了 92 条金鱼。 弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？zhidao 斯丹：浴室。

弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？ 斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛。

5.求英语谚语格言10条笑话5个

1. Waste not,want not. 俭以防匮。

2. From saving comes having. 富有来自节俭。 3. A penny saved is a penny gained. 省一文是一文。

4. Take care of the pence and the pound will take care of themselves. 金钱积少便成多。 5. Frugality is an estate alone. 节俭本身就是一宗财产。

6. He that regards not a penny,will lavish a pound. 小钱不知节省，大钱将滥花。 7. Small gains bring great wealth. 积小利，成巨富。

8. Many a little makes a mickle. 积少便成多。 9. As the touchstone tries gold,so gold tries man. 试金之石可试金，正如黄金能试人。

10. Courage and resolution are the spirit and soul of virtue. 勇敢和坚决是美德的灵魂。 11. The path to glory is always rugged. 光荣之路常坎坷。

12. Nothing is difficult to the man who will try. 世上无难事，只要人肯试。 13. The fire is the test of gold;adversity of strong man. 烈火试真金，困苦炼壮士。

14. Great hopes make great man. 远大的希望造就伟大的人物。 15. No way is impossible to courage. 勇士面前无险路。

16. A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner. 平静的大海决不能造就出熟练的水手。 17. The good seaman is known in bad weather. 坏天气下才能识得出良好的海员；要识好海员，须凭坏天气。

18. The best hearts are always the bravest. 行为最勇敢的人心地总是最善良。 19. We must not lie down,and cry,God help us. 求神不如求己。

20. He that falls today may be up again tomorrow. 今天跌倒的人也许明天就会站起。 21. Rome was not built in a day. 罗马并非一日可建成；坚持必成。

22. Success belongs to the persevering. 胜利属于坚忍不拔的人。 23. We must repeat a thousand and one times thatperseverance is the only road to success. 我们要多次重申：不屈不挠是取得胜利的唯一道路。

24. Perseverance is failing nineteen times and succeeding the twentieth. 十九次失败，到第二十次获得成功，这就叫坚持。 25. Step by step the ladder is ascended. 登梯需要逐级登。

26. Adversity leads to prosperity. 困苦通向昌盛。 27. Patience and application will carry us through. 忍耐和专心会使我们度过难关。

28. Fortune often rewards with interest those that have patience to wait for her. 做事只要有耐心，到头总会有好运；耐心候好运，好运常会来。 29. All things will come round to him who will but wait. 只要肯等待，一切都会按时来。

30. Constant dropping wears the stone. 滴水不绝可穿石。 31. Omelets are not made without breaking of eggs. 鸡蛋不打破，蛋卷做不成；不甘愿吃苦，则预期效果达不到。

32. The world is a ladder for some to go up and others to go down. 世界好似一把梯，有人上去有人下。 33. There needs a long apprenticeship to understand the mystery of the world's trade. 要知世事奥秘多，须要长期作学徒。

1）找一个朋友，让他先说10遍“老鼠”，然后再说10遍“鼠老”，待他说完“老鼠，老鼠，老鼠，鼠老，鼠老，鼠老”之后，立即问他“猫最怕什么”，几乎可以保证他会答“老鼠”. （2）还有请人朗读古诗“暗湿竹，暗湿绿，暗湿透春竹，暗湿透春绿”，“卧梅又闻花，卧枝伤痕低”之类. （3） 你问他：“一个三点水加一个来是什么？” 他想了一想说：“不确定，涞（LAI）？” 你再问：“一个三点水加一个去呢？” 他80%会说：“。什么字？有这个字吗？去？” 其实应该是“法”。

（4） 伸出1个手指，问别人“这是几” 再次伸出2个手指，问别人“这是几” 再次伸出3个手指，问别人“1+1是几”10人里最多1人答对 （5） 甲：给你讲个故事，从前有个傻子，别人问他什么他都说“没有”，比如问他你吃 饭了吗？他说“没有”，你叫什么？他说“没有”。

唉，对了，你听过这个故事么？乙：没有。

6.英语谚语,笑话,小知识

英语谚语/proverb.htm笑话/otherweb/e_c/joke/index.htm英语小知识：Can Fish Drow Yes,fish can drown.It isn't the water that keeps fish alive, but the oxygen in the water . Fish breathe through their gills, which draw oxygen from the water. When too many fish crowd together in a small pond or tank,the oxygen in the water may soon be used up.When this happens,the fish suffocate,which is what happens when any animal drowns 鱼会淹死吗 是的。

鱼同样会淹死。使鱼能活着的并不是水，而是水中的氧气。

鱼用其鳃进行呼吸，从水中吸取氧气。当过多的鱼拥挤在一个小水塘或小水池里时，水中的氧气很快就消耗尽。

在这种情况下，鱼就会窒息而死。这与其它动物淹死的情况是完全一样的。

7.英语谚语的小故事

Plug one's ears while stealing a bell（掩耳盗铃）完整的英语，后面有中文意思：）~

In the Spring and Autumn period, a thief had stolen a bell and intended to carry it away on his back, but the bell was too bulky and heavy to be carried, so he tried to break it into pieces with a hammer to make it easier for carrying. On his first hit, however, the bell made a loud noise. He thus feared that the ringing sound might be heard by someone, who would come to rob him of his bell. His fright made him plug his own ears, while hitting the bell with the hammer. The bell sound was, nevertheless, audible to others and therefore to stuff his ears for the purpose of stealing a bell was a stupid action it is as foolish as burying one's head in the sand.

from Huai Nanzi（淮南子著）

掩耳盗铃

在春秋战国时期，有一个小偷偷了一只钟。他准备把钟扛在背上带走。可是钟又大又沉，很难扛走。因此他想用锤子把钟敲成碎片，这样运起来就能多了。可是，他敲了一下，那只钟发出巨大的响声。他怕别人听到了钟声会来抢他的钟，于是他在锤子敲钟时捂上了自己的耳朵。不过，即使他这样做，别人还是听得到钟声的。所以掩耳盗铃是非常愚蠢的行为，就像把头埋在沙子中一样。

（淮南子著）

8.英语小笑话、故事,带翻译,简短,一分钟左右能说完的

One or Two

Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.

Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.

顾客：服务员，我盘子里怎么只有一块肉？

服务员：先生，请稍候，我去把它切成两块。

Father and Son

Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, son.

儿子：爸爸，听说在非洲的一些地方男人在结婚前根本不认识他的妻子。

父亲：孩子，实际上所有的国家都是这样的。

It depends

Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?

Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.

旅行者：我还能赶上3点钟那班到多伦多的火车吗？

售票员：那得看你跑得有多快。火车15分钟前开出。

To be on the Safe Side

In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer（门厅，大厅） . A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:

Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?

Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all.

Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row.

在一家电影院里，一名观众在演出期间站了起来，沿着他那排位子走到休息室去了。几分钟后，他回到那排位子并问坐在首位的那位男士道：

对不起，请问我刚才出去的时候是踩着你的脚吗？

是的，不过没什么关系，一点也不疼。

噢，不，我不是这个意思。我只是想确认一下这是不是我的那排位子。