搞笑谚语翻译
发布者：丁悦华2020-06-20
1. 中文搞笑英语翻译
常见搞笑翻译如下：
1、The king is awalys lucky 王老吉
2、Open water room. 开水间。
3、know is know noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知。
4、American Chinese not enough 美中不足
5、heart flower angry open 心花怒放
6、go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过
7、as far as you go to die 有多远，死多远！
8、If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one！ 要钱没有，要命一条
9、you me you me 彼此彼此
10、seven up eight down 七上八下
11、love who who 爱谁谁
12、no three no four不三不四
13、morning three night four 朝三暮四
14、red face konw me 红颜知己
15、ten three point 十三点
16、no care three seven two ten one 不管三七二十一
17、You don't bird me, I don't bird you.你不鸟我，我也不鸟你。
18、You ask me,I ask who？你问我，我去问谁？
拓展资料
1、英汉翻译时不能英汉直译，以免造成上面的笑话。
2、翻译是在准确、通顺的基础上，把一种语言信息转变成另一种语言信息的行为。翻译是将一种相对陌生的表达方式，转换成相对熟悉的表达方式的过程。其内容有语言、文字、图形、符号和视频翻译。
2. 20条英语谚语 5则广告语 10个英语缩写和笑话
英语谚语：1、He sits no sure that sits too high. 高处不胜寒。
2、He that respects not is not respected. 欲受人敬，要先敬人。 3、So said, so done. 说到做到。
言出必行。 4、Haste makes waste. 忙乱易错。
欲速则不达。 5、Better be envied than pitied. 宁被人妒，不受人怜。
6、Although the sun shine, leave not your cloak at home. 未雨绸缪。 7、So the world wags. 这就是人生。
8、One can not be in two places at once. 一心不可二用。 9、No weal without woe. 福兮祸所伏 ， 祸兮福所倚。
10、Little chips light great fires. 星星之火，可以燎原。 11、Like knows like. 惺惺相惜。
12、It is a poor mouse that has only one hole. 狡兔三窟。 13、Dreams are lies. 梦不足信。
14、Do not teach fish to swim. 不要班门弄斧。 15、A light heart live long. 心情开朗寿命长。
不恼不愁，活到白头。 16、An apple a day keeps the doctor away. 每日吃苹果一只，身体健康不求医。
17、Poverty is stranger to industry. 勤劳之人不受穷。 18、Deliberate in counsel, prompt in action. 考虑要仔细 ， 行动要迅速 . 19、One sin opens the door for another. ---German 犯了一次罪恶就会犯另一次罪。
20、One man's meat is another man's poison. 萝卜青菜，各有所爱。 广告语：1、应付别人的指责，常说——我就是我……（雪碧饮料）； 2、九月十日写给导师的贺卡——我们的光彩，来自你的风采。
（沙宣洗发水）； 3、Good to the last drop.滴滴香浓，意犹未尽。（麦斯威尔咖啡） 4、The choice of a new generation.新一代的选择。
（百事可乐） 5、A diamond lasts forever. (De Bierres) 钻石恒久远，一颗永流传。（第比尔斯） 英语缩写：国家1、USA 美国： United States of America 2、UK 英国： United Kingdom 3、PRC 中国： People's Republic of China 4、国际组织、机构、公司： 5、UN 联合国： United Nations 6、UNESCO 联合国教科文组织： United Nations Educational,Scientific and Cultural Organization 7、WTO 世贸组织： World Trade Organization 8、WHO 世界卫生组织： World Health Organization 9、CAAC 中国民航： Civil Aviation Administration of China 10、OPEC 石油输出国组织： Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries 笑话：1、女：“只要有钱，我嫁给谁都行。”
男：“银行的保险柜你嫁吗？”2、我妻子想减肥，所以她每天都去骑马。结果马一个月之中瘦了四十斤。
3、小保姆嗓门特别大，主人叮嘱，今晚来的都是有身份的人，说话务必小声一点。吃完饭，主人客人玩牌，小保姆收拾完想早点休息，于是凑近男主人耳边轻声道：“那我先睡了哈。”
4、一个富翁的女儿要出嫁，他提出：谁能让他的猫先摇头再点头再跳进水里，他就把女儿嫁给他并分他一半家产。有给年轻人来了，问那只猫：“你认识我吗？”那猫摇头。
“你牛B吗？”那猫点头，于是年轻人飞起一脚把猫踢下了水。那个富翁赶紧把猫救了起来，对年轻人说：“你这是犯规，要让猫自愿跳下去。
我再给你一次机会，这次你先让猫点头，再让猫摇头，再跳下水去才行。” 那个年轻人就又问猫：“你认识我吗？”猫点头。
“你丫还牛B吗？”那猫摇头。于是那年轻人又说：“那你知道该怎么办了吗？”那猫自己就跳下了水。
5、有一日，一农妇跑到当地派出所大哭：“报告，俺被强 J了！”“你看清那人模样了吗？”“没看清，不过那人肯定是新手”“你咋知道？”“那人搞了半天都进不去，最后还是俺给扶进去的。
”
6、小白兔蹦蹦跳跳到面包房，问：“老板，你们有没有一百个小面包啊？” 老板：“啊，真抱歉，没有那么多” “这样啊。
”小白兔垂头丧气地走了。
第二天，小白兔蹦蹦跳跳到面包房，“老板，有没有一百个小面包啊？” 老板：“对不起，还是没有啊” “这样啊。
”小白兔又垂头丧气地走了。
第三天，小白兔蹦蹦跳跳到面包房，“老板，有没有一百个小面包啊？” 老板高兴的说：“有了，有了，今天我们有一百个小面包了！！” 小白兔掏出钱：“太好了，我买两个！”7、修女搭乘神父的车，途中神父把手搭在修女雪白的大腿上，修女微笑的对神父说：你记得圣经第129条说的是什么吗？神父脸红的把手拿开了.回到家神父急忙打开圣经129条，见上面写着："再深入一点你会得到莫大的快乐！"神父大呼：上帝啊！业务不熟害死人呐！8、一对夫妻想做爱的时候，都会以『洗衣服』做暗号。某日，两夫妻斗嘴吵架后，因为太太正在气头上，而丈夫又有**上的需要，不方便开囗向太太求爱，只好请儿子代为传话：（妈妈，爸爸说他的衣服脏了要洗衣服。）
妈妈很生气说：（跟你爸爸说洗衣机坏了，今天不洗。）又过了几日，这次轮到太太忍不住，於是便叫儿子代为传话：（去跟你爸爸说洗衣机修好了，可以洗衣服了。）
儿子便立即说：（妈妈，爸爸交代说，不用了他自己已经用手洗好了。） 9、讲课时女老师裤子拉链开了，一女生站起来提醒：老师，你门没关！老师一摆手：不管它 ，一会儿教导主任要来参观。
10、汽车上有小伙子放了一个响屁，坐他旁边的女人恶狠狠地连。
3. 求50条英语谚语.最好都是很短的~谢谢了,大神帮忙啊
Love me, love my dog.爱屋及乌 Make hay while the sun shines.良机勿失。
Make your enemy your friend.化敌为友。 Man is the soul of the universe.人是万物之灵。
Man proposes, God disposes.谋事在人，成事在天。 Many hands make light work.众人拾柴火焰高。
Many heads are better than one.三个臭皮匠，赛过诸葛亮。 Many things grow in the garden that were never sown there.有心栽花花不发，无心插柳柳成荫。
Measure for measure.针锋相对。 Misfortunes never come alone.祸不单行。
Misfortune tests the sincerity of friends.患难见真情。 Money isn't everything.钱不是万能的。
Murder will out. 纸包不住火。 My son is my son till he has got him a wife, but my daughter is my daughter all the days of her life.儿子婚前是儿子，女儿终生是女儿。
Nature is the true law.天行有常，不为尧存，不为桀亡。 Necessity is the mother of invention.需要是发明的动力。
Never fish in trouble water.不要混水摸鱼。 Never judge from appearances.不可以貌取人。
Never say die.永不言败。 Never too old to learn, never too late to turn.亡羊补牢，为时未晚。
New wine in old bottles.旧瓶装新酒。 No cross, no crown.不经历风雨，怎么见彩虹。
No garden without its weeds.没有不长草的园子。 No living man all things can.世上没有万事通。
No man can do two things at once.一心不可二用。 No man is born wise or learned.没有生而知之者。
No man is content.人心不足蛇吞象 No man is wise at all times.聪明一世，糊涂一时。 None are so blind as those who won't see.视而不见。
None are so deaf as those who won't hear.充耳不闻。 No news is good news.没有消息就是好消息。
友谊与团结 1. To find friendship offer friendship. 以友谊换友谊。 2. True friendship lasts forever. 真正的友谊恒久不变。
3.Friendship is like wine-the older the better. 友谊像美酒， 越陈越醇厚。 4. Fire is the test of gold, adversity of friendship. 烈火试真金， 苦难试友情。
5. Life without a friend is death without a witness. 没有朋友的生活等于孤独一人死去。 6. A man is known by the company he keeps. 从其交友知其为人。
7. Write down the advice of him who loves you, though you like it not at present. 忠言虽难听， 必须记在心。 8. All are not friends that speak us fair. 当面说好话的并不都是朋友。
9. The man who agrees with everybody is not worth having anybody agree with him. 同意所有人的意见的人，不配得到任何人的同意。 H. J. Palmerston 帕默斯顿 10. Friends that desert us in the hour of need are friends in name, not in reality. 在困难时刻背弃我们的是有名无实的朋友。
11. Friendship is to be strengthened by truth and devotion. 友谊要以真实和忠诚来巩固。 12. A little help is worth a deal of pity. 一点帮助胜于一车同情。
13. Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. 选择朋友要慢， 换朋友更要慢。 -Franklin 富兰克林 14. A real friend never gets in your way, unless you happen to be on the way down. 真正的朋友决不会挡住你的去路， 除非你在走下坡路时。
15. Joys shared with others are more enjoyed. 与众同乐， 其乐更乐。 16. It's good to have money to buy things that money can buy, but it's better not to lose things money cannot buy. 有钱去买能买得到的东西当然不错， 但不丢失用钱买不到的东西更好。
. H. Lorimer 洛里默（美国记者） 17. We shall never have friends if we expect to find them without fault. 指望朋友没有缺点， 就永远不会有朋友。 18. Birds of a feather flock together. 物以类聚， 人以群分。
19. He that plants trees loves others besides himself. 植树的人， 不但爱己， 而且爱人。 20. United we stand, divided we fall. 团结则存， 分裂则亡。
4. 中文搞笑英语翻译
I will give you some color to see see.我要给你点颜色瞧瞧.
People moutain people sea 人山人海
we two, who and who？ 咱俩谁跟谁阿
you don't bird me,I don't bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你
If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one!
要钱没有，要命一条
watch sister 表妹
You give me stop！ 你给我站住
Amrican Chinese not enough. 美中不足
you me you me 彼此彼此
heart flower angry open 心花怒放
know is know,noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知
5. 来点搞笑的英文谚语啊 最好不是直译的
Ignorance is bliss.If you are too open minded, then your brains will fall off.Two's company, three's the result. （小儿不宜）Too many cooks spoil the broth.A man who lives in a glass house shouldn't throw stones.A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead。
6. 我想收集一些常用的谚语翻译,越快越多越好
英语谚语精选（中英对照）A bad beginning makes a bad ending.不善始者不善终。
A bad thing never dies.遗臭万年。 A bad workman always blames his tools.不会撑船怪河弯。
A bird in the hand is worth than two in the bush.一鸟在手胜过双鸟在林。 A boaster and a liar are cousins-german.吹牛与说谎本是同宗。
A bully is always a coward.色厉内荏。 A burden of one's choice is not felt.爱挑的担子不嫌重。
A candle lights others and consumes itself.蜡烛照亮别人，却毁灭了自己。 A cat has 9 lives.猫有九条命。
A cat may look at a king.人人平等。 A close mouth catches no flies.病从口入。
A constant guest is never welcome.常客令人厌。 Actions speak louder than words.事实胜于雄辩。
Adversity leads to prosperity.穷则思变。 Adversity makes a man wise, not rich.逆境出人才。
A fair death honors the whole life.死得其所，流芳百世。 A faithful friend is hard to find.知音难觅。
A fall into a pit, a gain in your wit.吃一堑，长一智。A fox may grow gray, but never good.江山易改，本性难移。
A friend in need is a friend indeed.患难见真情。 A friend is easier lost than found.得朋友难，失朋友易。
A friend is never known till a man has need.需要之时方知友。 A friend without faults will never be found.没有十全十美的朋友。
'After you' is good manners.“您先请”是礼貌。 A good beginning is half done.良好的开端是成功的一半。
A good beginning makes a good ending.善始者善终。 A good book is a good friend.好书如挚友。
A good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever.一本好书，相伴一生。 A good conscience is a soft pillow.不做亏心事，不怕鬼叫门。
A good fame is better than a good face.美名胜过美貌。 A good husband makes a good wife.夫善则妻贤。
A good medicine tastes bitter.良药苦口。 A good wife health is a man's best wealth.妻贤身体好是男人最大的财富。
A great talker is a great liar.说大话者多谎言。 A hedge between keeps friendship green.君子之交淡如水。
A joke never gains an enemy but loses a friend.戏谑不能化敌为友，只能使人失去朋友。 A leopard cannot change its spots.积习难改。
A liar is not believed when he speaks the truth.说谎者即使讲真话也没人相信。 A light heart lives long.静以修身。
A little body often harbors a great soul.浓缩的都是精品。 A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.一知半解，自欺欺人。
A little pot is soon hot.狗肚子盛不得四两油。 All are brave when the enemy flies.敌人逃窜时，人人都成了勇士。
All good things come to an end.天下没有不散的筵席。 All rivers run into sea.海纳百川。
All roads lead to Rome.条条大路通罗马。 All that ends well is well.结果好，就一切都好。
All that glitters is not gold.闪光的不一定都是金子。 All things are difficult before they are easy.凡事总是由难而易。
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.只会用功不玩耍，聪明孩子也变傻。 A man becomes learned by asking questions.不耻下问才能有学问。
A man can do no more than he can.凡事都应量力而行。 A man cannot spin and reel at the same time.一心不能二用。
A man is known by his friends.什么人交什么朋友。 A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds.光说空话不做事，犹如花园光长刺。
A man without money is no man at all.一分钱难倒英雄汉。 A merry heart goes all the way.心旷神怡，事事顺利。
A miss is as good as a mile.失之毫厘，差之千里。 A mother's love never changes.母爱永恒。
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.一天一苹果，不用请医生。 A new broom sweeps clean.新官上任三把火。
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.以眼还眼，以牙还牙。 An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening.一日之计在于晨。
An old dog cannot learn new tricks.老狗学不出新把戏。 An ounce of luck is better than a pound of wisdom.聪明才智，不如运气。
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.预防为主，治疗为辅。 A rolling stone gathers no moss.滚石不生苔，转业不聚财。
As a man sows, so he shall reap.种瓜得瓜，种豆得豆。 A single flower does not make a spring.一花独放不是春，百花齐放春满园。
A snow year, a rich year.瑞雪兆丰年。 A sound mind in a sound body.健全的精神寓于健康的身体。
A still tongue makes a wise head.寡言者智。 A stitch in time saves nine.小洞不补，大洞吃苦。
A straight foot is not afraid of a crooked shoe.身正不怕影子斜。 A wise head makes a close mouth.真人不露相，露相非真人。
A word spoken is past recalling.一言既出，驷马难追。 A year's plan starts with spring.一年之计在于春。
A young idler, an old beggar.少壮不努力，老大徒伤悲。 Bad news has wings.好事不出门，坏事传千里。
Barking dogs seldom bite.吠犬不咬人。 Beauty lies in the love's eyes.情人眼里出西施。
7. 要一个超级搞笑的英语笑话带中文翻译,高中水平
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋糕
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！
Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.
Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.
妈妈：玛丽，你为什么这样大喊大叫的？ 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢？你看艾迪一声儿都不出。
玛丽：妈妈，艾迪当然不会出声了，因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢，他扮演爸爸，我扮演你。
8. 搞笑英语小说和英语谚语
Reading enriches the mind.开卷有益。
Reading is to the mind while exercise to the body.读书健脑，运动强身。 Respect yourself, or no one else will respect you.要人尊敬，必须自重。
Rome is not built in a day.冰冻三尺，非一日之寒。 Saying is one thing and doing another.言行不一。
Seeing is believing.眼见为实。 Seek the truth from facts.实事求是。
Send a wise man on an errand, and say nothing to him.智者当差，不用交代。 Set a thief to catch a thief.以贼捉贼。
Short accounts make long friends.好朋友勤算账。 Something is better than nothing.聊胜于无。
Soon learn, soon forgotten.学得快，忘得快。 Soon ripe, soon rotten.熟得快，烂得快。
Speech is silver, silence is gold.能言是银，沉默是金。 Still water run deep.静水常深。
Strike the iron while it is hot.趁热打铁。 Success belongs to the persevering.坚持就是胜利。
Take things as they come.既来之，则安之。 Talking mends no holes.空谈无补。
Talk of the devil and he will appear.说曹操，曹操就到。 Tall trees catch much wind.树大招风。
Teach others by your example.躬亲示范。 The best hearts are always the bravest.无私者无畏。
The best man stumbles.伟人也有犯错时。 The cat shuts its eyes when stealing.掩耳盗铃。
The danger past and God forgotten.过河拆桥。 The darkest hour is nearest the dawn.黎明前的黑暗。
The darkest place is under the candlestick.烛台底下最暗。 The devil knows many things because he is old.老马识途。
The devil sometimes speaks the truth.魔鬼有时也会说真话。 The die is cast.木已成舟。
The early bird catches the worm.早起的鸟儿有虫吃。 The end justifies the means.只要目的正当，可以不择手段。
The end makes all equal.死亡面前，人人平等。 The eye is bigger than the belly.贪多嚼不烂。
The farthest way about is the nearest way home.抄近路反而绕远路。 The finest diamond must be cut.玉不琢，不成器。
The fire is the test of gold, adversity of strong man.烈火验真金，艰难磨意志。 The first step is the only difficulty.迈出第一步是最艰难的。
The fox knew too much, that's how he lost his tail.机关算尽太聪明，反误了卿卿性命。 The fox preys farthest from home.兔子不吃窝边草。
The frog in the well knows nothing of the great ocean.坐井观天。 The grass is greener on the other side.这山望着那山高。
The greatest talkers are always least doers.语言的巨人总是行动的矮子。 The higher up, the greater the fall.爬得高，摔得惨。
The leopard cannot change its spots.本性难移。 The more noble, the more humble.人越高尚，越谦虚。
The more wit, the less courage.初生牛犊不怕虎。 The outsider sees the most of the game.旁观者清。
The pen is mightier than the sword.笔能杀人。 The pot calls the kettle black.五十步笑百步。
There are spots in the sun.太阳也有黑点。 There are two sides to every question.问题皆有两面。
There is a skeleton in the cupboard.家家有本难念的经。 There is kindness to be found everywhere.人间处处有温情。
There is no general rule without some exception.任何法规均有例外。 There is no medicine against death.没有长生不老药。
There is no place like home.金窝银窝不如咱的狗窝。 There is no royal road to learning.书山有路勤为径，学海无涯苦作舟。
The style is the man.字如其人。 The tongue is not steel, yet it cuts.人言可畏。
The water that bears the boat is the same that swallows it up.水能载舟，亦能覆舟。 The wise man knows he knows nothing, the fool thinks he knows all.清者自清，浊者自浊。
The wolf has a winning game when the shepherds quarrel.螳螂捕蝉，黄雀在后。 The world is a ladder for some to go up and others to go down.世界如阶梯，有人上有人下。
The world is but a little place, after all.海内存知己，天涯若比邻。 Think twice before you do.三思而后行。
Things at the worst will mend.否极泰来。 Time and tide wait for no man.时不我待。
Time cures all things.时间是医治一切创伤的良药。 Time flies.光阴似箭。
Time is money.时间就是金钱。 Time lost cannot be won again.时光流逝，不可复得。
Time past cannot be called back again.时间不能倒流。 Time tries all.路遥知马力，日久见人心。
Tit for tat is fair play.人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我必犯人。 To err is human.人非圣贤，孰能无过。
To know everything is to know nothing.什么都知道，一如什么都不知道。 To know oneself is true progress.人贵有自知之明。
Tomorrow never comes.我生待明日，万事成蹉跎。 Too much familiarity breeds contempt.过分熟悉会使人互不服气。
Too much knowledge makes the head bald.学问太多催人老。 Too much liberty spills all.自由放任，一事无成。
Too much praise is a burden.过多夸奖，反成负担。 To save time is to lengthen life.节约时间就是延长生命。
Touch pitch, and you will be defil。
9. 短的,非常好笑的英语笑话,带翻译
The Perfect Son. A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he smoke? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he drink whiskey? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he ever come home late? A: No, he doesn't. B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A: He will be six months old next Wednesday. 完美儿子 A：我有一个很完美的儿子. B：他抽烟吗？ A：不抽. B：他喝威士忌酒吗？ A：不喝. B：他会不会很晚回家？ A：不会. B：我想你确实有一个完美儿子. 那他多大了？ A：下个星期三就满6个月了. Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue！ " 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " .鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”
那孩子回答说。 “那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。” Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes. The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman." "Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?" "They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once. "Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.". 迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。
孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：“喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。
不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。” 迪克问：“像一个绅士？绅士怎样做呢？” 他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。”
迪克说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会，然后，他把蛋糕拿给妹妹，并对她说：“凯瑟琳，你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。”
I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？” “没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”
“I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”
“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question 。
10. 急求英语搞笑小短文 要带翻译
The Old CatAn old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 【译文】老猫 一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。
一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。
于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”
A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river."He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.【译文】一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。”然后他拿起苹果，一把扔到土里去。
他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。”他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。
他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。
The City Mouse and the Country Mouseonce there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city."The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid.After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid." 【译文】城里老鼠和乡下老鼠从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。
很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。
乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。
城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。”乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。
房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。
过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。
因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些。”Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".老师：为什么你每天早晨都迟到？汤姆：每当我经过学校的拐角处，就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".A Good BoyLittle Robert asked hi。
