批改作文 剑七 test2 task2

"基本完成了任务，5.5分 具体点评如下：点评1 Nowadays,a hot and important contraversy /controversy concerning the problem whether the punishments for each type of crimes should be fixed.全句没有谓语，而且whether 后面也不是句子。

这种错误一定要避免。可以在important后面加 is. Whether 后面可改成：whether punishments for each type of crime should be fixed 2 Some people contend that the consistent punishments seems to be fairer and more clearly/clear.while a large amount proporation/去掉 of people advocate that it depends on individual situation.I will present and analyde both views here.取其把题目几乎不做改动的抄一遍，可以选择其他的开篇方式，people have various opinions concerning whether punishments for each type of crime should be fixed. As for me， + 观点3 The first plain truth I want to emphasize here is that every crimes/crime has its own reasons and results/不相关，去掉，it can not be divided/judged simplity/simply from one aspect. So that the decision which considered/consider different circumstance turns to be positive reasonable. 论证有些浅，可以深度解释，也可举例，否则就成了喊口考了Furthermore, with the complicate motivation and action, there has/is not a boundry/boundary line/去掉 between two similar commitment in current days. The flexible punishment system will not fail to be one good way to show the society that the government care about them, and thus ,the general public are able to participate more in government policy determination/policy-making. Last but not least,the sdandadization of law has been improved rapidly in these years. Even two crimes lead to the same result, ones original intension to commite should be taking account /should be taken into account to replect/replace the regular law setup.4 Admittedly, fixed punishments have some merits. Under the fixed punishment system, the law enforcement officials have definite rules to follow. The crimes will make up some excuses for themselves to get/gain the jurys simpathy/sympathy , and escape from the judgment they due to/are due to receive. But with the developed law system, this problem can be solved efficiently. 跑题了这一段有一半是跑题的，要谈固定刑罚的理由，而不是如果避免法庭上不公平5 In conclusion,altough/although fixed punishment policy has deniable/undeniable advantages, I regard the flexible system as a better choice. It is the best way for us to get a clear perspevtive/perspective of what teh/the crimes got/what type of punishment law offenders should get relied on/according to their crimes what they have done/去掉.with such a perspective, we can own a more peaceful society."。

批改作文 剑七 test2 task2

"基本完成了任务，5.5分 具体点评如下：点评1 Nowadays,a hot and important contraversy /controversy concerning the problem whether the punishments for each type of crimes should be fixed.全句没有谓语，而且whether 后面也不是句子。

这种错误一定要避免。可以在important后面加 is. Whether 后面可改成：whether punishments for each type of crime should be fixed 2 Some people contend that the consistent punishments seems to be fairer and more clearly/clear.while a large amount proporation/去掉 of people advocate that it depends on individual situation.I will present and analyde both views here.取其把题目几乎不做改动的抄一遍，可以选择其他的开篇方式，people have various opinions concerning whether punishments for each type of crime should be fixed. As for me， + 观点3 The first plain truth I want to emphasize here is that every crimes/crime has its own reasons and results/不相关，去掉，it can not be divided/judged simplity/simply from one aspect. So that the decision which considered/consider different circumstance turns to be positive reasonable. 论证有些浅，可以深度解释，也可举例，否则就成了喊口考了Furthermore, with the complicate motivation and action, there has/is not a boundry/boundary line/去掉 between two similar commitment in current days. The flexible punishment system will not fail to be one good way to show the society that the government care about them, and thus ,the general public are able to participate more in government policy determination/policy-making. Last but not least,the sdandadization of law has been improved rapidly in these years. Even two crimes lead to the same result, ones original intension to commite should be taking account /should be taken into account to replect/replace the regular law setup.4 Admittedly, fixed punishments have some merits. Under the fixed punishment system, the law enforcement officials have definite rules to follow. The crimes will make up some excuses for themselves to get/gain the jurys simpathy/sympathy , and escape from the judgment they due to/are due to receive. But with the developed law system, this problem can be solved efficiently. 跑题了这一段有一半是跑题的，要谈固定刑罚的理由，而不是如果避免法庭上不公平5 In conclusion,altough/although fixed punishment policy has deniable/undeniable advantages, I regard the flexible system as a better choice. It is the best way for us to get a clear perspevtive/perspective of what teh/the crimes got/what type of punishment law offenders should get relied on/according to their crimes what they have done/去掉.with such a perspective, we can own a more peaceful society."。

求高手点评雅思“小作文”（剑7 Test2 Task1 ）

感觉还不错啊~

词语和句式较为多变，介词用得也准确，数据抓取得也合理。

表达年份时，可以有多种方式，除了直接写年份的数字，也可以说the year of 2004,the 2004 year等；

表示“从图中看出”这个意思，还可以用

from the graph,we can see。

xxx is shown(illustated, outlined。)from the table

it could be easily seen that 。

多背几个，等你一想表达这个意思时，可以随时调用。

总结段一般还是必要的，加上会显得比较完整。

写小作文可以写得很精彩，但是主要还是能把图描述准确，不要每句看起来都是一种结构，总之多背些句式是好的，到最后写起来会得心应手。

求高手点评雅思“小作文”（剑7 Test2 Task1 ）

感觉还不错啊~词语和句式较为多变，介词用得也准确，数据抓取得也合理。

表达年份时，可以有多种方式，除了直接写年份的数字，也可以说the year of 2004,the 2004 year等；表示“从图中看出”这个意思，还可以用from the graph,we can see。xxx is shown(illustated, outlined。

)from the tableit could be easily seen that 。多背几个，等你一想表达这个意思时，可以随时调用。

总结段一般还是必要的，加上会显得比较完整。写小作文可以写得很精彩，但是主要还是能把图描述准确，不要每句看起来都是一种结构，总之多背些句式是好的，到最后写起来会得心应手。

雅思大作文task 2~~~跪求估分+建议~~ 剑7test2中关于犯罪惩罚标准的

Some people asert that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.asert拼写错误，assertI could give some reasons for it. 这句话是废话，字数够的话就删掉吧if someone feels his/her rights are invaded, there is a long way to go.这句话不妨换用虚拟语气。

Secondly, this regulation may contribute to the low crime rate. secondly太死板了 换成in addition what is more furthermore等One possibly submitting a crime in the past would now be alerted by the fixed punishment.would now be?Firstly, circumstance can effect ones behaviour to a certain degree.建议改成First and foremost, circumstance, to some extent, can effect(impact) ones behaviours(manner)总体来说写的挺好的，如果lz想出国可以直接去考一次雅思了。建议第三段扩写一些，不要使理由段长短对比那么强烈，再加强一下句子间的衔接和长短句结合。

不足之处请多指出~谢谢~。

雅思作文求评分,谢谢啦

我觉得你写的不错，结构很清晰，论点和论据一目了然。长短句结合。也有例子具体的分数我不好评，因为我的作文也就考了6.5.我就说说我认为的不足的地方吧，希望能帮到你。

第一是按照你的观点，你认为先工作旅游是好的，那么主体写的时候最好先写你不同意的观点。也就是把你这两个主体段换一下位置。第二是如果你想拿高分，最好能用上一些好词来代替比较普通和简单的表述。第三是我觉得最后的conclusion说这样可能会让年轻人找到一些方向这个观点应该是一个新的观点吧？你的支持段里并没有说到这个好处。而结论段式不允许出现新的观点的，应该是总结你的陈述。如果你想加上这个支持观点可以写进主体段里。然后综上所示，虽然先工作旅游有一些缺点，但是它既可以增长知识，又可以帮助青少年更好的实现目标。所以你支持先工作旅游这一观点。

总体来看六分以上是绝对没问题的，如果结合你小作文也不错的话，六点五的可能比较大，当然没准儿对哪个考官的胃口七分也不是没有可能的。

剑七test3大作文怎么写！速求

天气渐渐转暖，万物渐渐复苏。留下的是枯萎的草，凋零的花，结了冰的小河。而这，春姑娘却不放在眼里，他把轻纱般的袖子轻轻一拂，花儿冒出了花骨朵，小草长出了嫩芽，小河里的冰也化了。啊！春天来了。

看！家里的那盆吊兰，重新开出了花，阵阵花香扑鼻而来，令人心旷神怡。走出家门，我看见 院里那棵白杨树长出了的绿色的小芽，多像一个美丽的小天使啊！一阵春风拂过，树上已经长出来的嫩叶在风中轻轻浮动，好像在说：“好清凉的风呀！

走到小河边，只见岸边的杨树也抽出了嫩绿的柳丝，正轻轻抚摸着大地，那绿油油的小草和那五彩缤纷的花儿，在杨柳妈妈的抚摸下，小草长出了嫩叶，花儿们也渐渐开出了五颜六色的花，一丝丝，一缕缕，都像赶集似的聚拢来，像开一个比美大会似的；河水的冰也融化了，阳光照射到水面上，河面上波光粼粼，那波纹就好像春天的五线谱，而那光芒却是跳动着的音符，他们在弹奏着一首春天的赞歌。几只小燕子在河面上掠过，尾尖偶尔沾了一下水面，就看到波纹一圈一圈荡漾开去。

田野上，农民伯伯正在辛勤地播种，看，那一排排绿油油的麦苗在春风和阳光的照顾下，茁壮成长，有的麦苗实在是太调皮了，它居然迎着春风跳起了舞，让原本充满生机的春天更加活泼，麦田旁边是一片黄灿灿的油菜花，菜花在阳光下更加灿烂。我站在这田野中，闻着泥土的芳香，赞赏着这大自然的杰作，任春风吹拂，任心潮起伏。啊！这春天真是万紫千红，美不胜收啊！

看，旭日正在升腾，让我们张开双臂，去拥抱着美丽的春天吧！