TPO1的独立作文帮我批改一下

Some people may think that university should use all the money to support students` classes and libraries, but I have a different idea.

When it comes to the statement that sports and social activities deserve the equal financial support with classes and libraries, I strongly agree. I think the most essential reason is that I

believe students can increase their social abilities from playing sports and

taking part in the social activities.

tpo独立写作范文,如何达到tpo独立写作范文的标准

其二，逻辑清晰，论据具体。

tpo独立写作范文要求展开充分。要求我们在保持平衡的基础上有所侧重。

论述一个问题，一定要做到在某些方面有所倾向，但是对其他的观点也要稍微着些笔墨。在论述时，需要具体合适的例子作为论据，来支持论点。

例子不在于多少，而在于是否贴切，不要生搬硬套。其四，语言。

tpo独立写作范文的语言需要达到准确、流畅、丰富三个基本标准。准确要求在拼写、语法、用词上没有错误，以及一些搭配要准确，这是基本的。

流畅则是读起来要顺口，行文一气呵成使得逻辑清晰。语言的丰富体现了考生的语言能力，注意用词的时候尽量避免重复。

一些修辞手法的运用更能体现语言的丰富。一篇标准的tpo独立写作范文主要做到以上几点就可以了。

相信这样的分析能对广大考生有所帮助。

自己写的一片托福的独立写作,TPO1上的题目,求改！

我没事给你评评吧。

首先，第一段的作用是点题，这个题就是在考什么，sport和social activity是否也需要财力支持，和其他的一样重要，说白了就是sport和social activity很重要，学校要重视还是不重视。你要做的让考官明确你的观点，其次要简略的说一下为什么，其实就是后面几个小的支持论据的总括。

上来之后可以废话一句引入正题，然后很快说你认为大学应该给学生什么，打个比方，让学生成为一个全面发展的人啦，让学生以后好就业啦，等等。接着亮自己观点，选择应该用财力支持运动和社会活动，你不需要详细阐述为什么，来个两句就够，比如社会活动可以给学生增加社会阅历，运动对健康有益，这些和classes以及图书馆一样重要，然后总括，学校支持运动和社会活动才会让学生全面发展，或者学习的更好，以后好就业，之类，所以我支持。

评价：说的不客气点，你这个第一段，绕来绕去，基本都是废话，考官看完第一段不知道你要说啥，When people enjoy the benefits brought by the strong financial support of classes and libraries, isnt it necessary that they give some consideration to the disproportionate financial support of sports and social activities？ 打那么多字都占用时间，托福考试作文争分夺秒，每一句话都要成为刀子和武器。第二段大体没什么，就是你写从social facilities中得到健康（直翻），不知道你是笔误还是什么，social facilities是公共设施的意思，我不知道你想说什么，运动馆？还是什么？你要写出来，游泳馆啊，网球场之类的词可以用啊，social facilities范围太大，包含邮局医院银行超市等等，当然也包含运动馆，但是你这里应该是在说学校建立运动场地吧，所以还是直接说的明白点，一目了然了。

后面你在写因为健康所以支持，然后说健康很重要啊，缺少运动设施就怎么样啦……在前面补充一下，学校这么做，是对学生好，是提高学生的健康，不是we should pay more attention in ourselves，是学校应该关注学生的健康，给投资，然后说一下，学生健康就怎么样了，学习更有效率，做运动更开心，等等等，扣住题。第三段，你说什么公共设施是可以提高学生的交流能力社会能力，你你要说public facilities就得说有什么，还是跟上面那一段的毛病，图书馆也是public facilities，也是social facilities。

然后你要说的是sports和social activity,social activity不仅是社交活动，也是社会活动的意思，范围很广阔，校外实习也算是social activity， 参观图书馆也是social activity，举办晚会也是。你要说学校建立广场给了学生social activity的场所，也可以，说明白，不要直接写什么Without available places, many passionate events could not be put into effect，然后人家要看你的例子才知道你要说啥，考官阅卷很快的，不看你的例子你这段就废了。

回来，其实这一段最开始，你得先说学校为什么要帮助学生提高这些交流或者social skill？记住，后面的三个小段是用来支持你的观点的，你说了一大堆好处，没有这些设施，学生就学不到，但是一直没说，为什么要提高交流能力社会能力啊？作为中国人你肯定觉得说为什么是废话，因为这不明摆着么，但是写作文，你要有逻辑，你不说就等于没有，学校干嘛要帮助学生提高这些啊，加一句学校支持社会活动可以让学生提高交流的能力，让他们毕业后更有竞争力，更好在职场和人沟通，或者这样帮助学生交到更多朋友，使他们生活更好，或者什么，随便，你自己想，然后说，这对学生来说最重要，所以支持这个和图书馆之类的一样重要，扣题，扣题，一定要绕回中心。最后一段不说啥了，你这个有点单薄，可以再加一段，用让步来说，在最后一段和第三段中间加一段，说假如学校不给予这些东西财政支持，假如一个学校没有这些东西，只有class和图书馆，那么，学生会变成什么样，比如身体不好，影响学习，比如没有活动场所，鸭梨很大，心情不好，这里可以扯点，最后来一句，没有投资这些既然这么不好，所以投资这个是必须的，为了学生的健康成长balabala……我觉得，你的写句子能力基本是没有问题的，可以说比一般托福学生的句子还强，基础应该是不错的，也会用连接词和例子，但是你的作文明显是没有逻辑主线，你还不太懂怎么扣题，抓题，怎么写主线。

慢慢来吧，真心的推荐你，直接去拿机经作文练习，TPO上的题目有点过时，有问题还可以问，当然不接受我的评论也是可以的~。

TPO1的独立作文帮我批改一下

Some people may think that university should use all the money to support students` classes and libraries, but I have a different idea. When it comes to the statement that sports and social activities deserve the equal financial support with classes and libraries, I strongly agree. I think the most essential reason is that I believe students can increase their social abilities from playing sports and taking part in the social activities. ( good writing)I would like to use my own experience as an example. In the past, I was really shy, and I was afraid to talking with strangers, even with my classmates who was not have many communications with me. I would like touse my own experience as an example. In the past, I was really shy, and I wasafraid of talking with strangers, even with my classmates who were those did not have many communications with me. After coming to university, I found that it was difficult to in the environment when others were always had activities with each people. After coming to university, I found that it was difficult to get along with people in the environment when others were always had activities with each people. But things have changed since I took part in football game. Playing football make me feel confident, and there was no difficulty when I talked with my new friends met in the playground. But things have changed since I took part in football game. Playing football make me feel confident, and there was no difficulty when I talked with my new friends I met in the playground. Instead of playing sports, taking part in the social activities can also increase your social abilities like communication skill and writing skill. In addition to taking sports, taking part in the social activities can also increase your social abilities like communication skill and writing skill. But learning social skills is not the whole advantage. People who study their own subjects in the classroom or library all the semester would have low perspective. It really can`t make their future life more colorful. We should experience many different things in our life to extend our library and make preparation for future challenge. We should experience different things in our life to extend our knowledge and make preparation for future challenge. For instance, Intel company was collecting the African`s life style and their body features, because they want to make sure that if most African are willing to use their production in the future they can use those information to manufacture the production which is appropriate for African. For instance, Intel company are collecting information about the African`slife style and their body features, because they want to make sure if most African are willing to use their products in the future. The company wants to use those information in the manufacture of their products that are suitable to African. So increasing the perspective is significant factor for future. So rasing the perspective is significant factor for future. At last, I want to point that a good sports and social activities environment would help students raise the efficiency when they gathering knowledge. At last, I want topoint out that a good environment with sports and social activities would help students raise the efficiency when they are gathering knowledge. According to the research, people who have one or two hours exercise everyday have a higher working efficiency than the person who has no exercise. According to the research, people who have one or two hours exercise everyday have a higher working efficiency than those who have no exercise. Another example is that I was really good at math when I was just a little child, but now I can`t reach that level. When I tried to find the reason for that phenomenon, I realized that studying music can assist students to learning math, it is real thing that I used to playing piano in the past. When I tried to find the reason for that phenomenon, I realized that studying music could assist me to learning math better, the fact was I used to play piano in the past. So trying more things would make your brain particularly vital. In summary, the introduction of increasing social abilities, extending the perspective and making brain particularly vital. In summary, more social abilities will extend our perspective andmake our brain particularly vital. For those reasons, it seems obvious to me that sports and social activities should have equal financial support with classes and libraries. based on the above reasons, it is obvious to me that sports and social activities deserve the same equal financial support as classes and libraries. This conclusion would really help students increase the。

TOEFL独立写作的最后一个总结段落的必要性

其实对于段落的分布没有特别大的要求的 你现在写作只有十五分首先应该注重的是语言能力的提高以及听力的提高（综合写作容易上去，方便总体提分） 有语言基础之后大概能保证在20分上下 至于段落结构是到往上拔高才需要考虑的 我写的是五段 开头 加中间三段（包括一个让步段）还有最后一段。

我也出国但时间少只有一个多月准备托福 考了2次 第一次作文20 最后分数不高只有25分。接下来是听力的方法，我听力最后一次是27分，如果你是10多分的水平，刚开始建议听抄，可以只听抄短文 听了半个月后 有20分左右后可以开始跟读 当然所有的过程都要做题 做错的看看原文中答案出现在哪里 培养自己的那种感觉（知道哪里重要听哪里的那种感觉，比如转折，语气什么的）最后你有24分左右可以开始训练听抄跟读科学怪人，可可英语网有，每天好好听抄跟读一篇，注意要语速一样，大概要花一个多小时，但效果很好，之后你就会觉得托福很简单了。

有什么其他的问题还可以追问，希望你能考取一个好成绩拿到一个好offer!。