剑桥雅思6test2 小作文,高手来估分,谢谢

"per person per year" can be used in speaking but not academic writing.

You should not use "we" in academic writing as well.

"the chart describe us" is a translation of Chinese which has a grammar mistake. It should be "the chart tells us" but unfortunately, not in academic writing again. U may use "the chart shows that the trend of travelling more often than before。

What do u mean "As the car saw a dramatic growth"? I guess its another grammar mistake.

"In sum" should be "in conculsion" or "In summary".

Generally speaking, your essay is not bad but it should not be scored over 6. One of the reason is that you just list all the figures rather than comparing them. For example, it would be much better if you said "Taxi is more popular because its recent figure is more than 3 times than the previous one."

The other reason is you didnt point out the trend that people prefer to go further. Thats why the usage of car, long distance bus and taxi increases but walking and bicycle drops.

I suggest that you should spend 2-3 mimutes to analyse and find out the relationship between the figures first. Then you can start writing.

Practicing more helps you to improve your writing skill. Good luck and fighting!

求大牛雅思小作文批改！TEXT1的小作文,帮忙改下错,平下分

The graph describes the portion of the population above aged 65 between 1940 and 2040 in the three countries---USA,Sweden and Japan.As shown in the graph,it is expected to have increments in the rate of old people .In 1940,the proportion of population above age 65 remained extremely low,as the figure of these countries stood at 9%(in USA),8%(in Sweden) and only 5%(in Japan).However by the end of the 1980 ,the number of old people in USA and Sweden had dramatically grown ,arriving at 15% and 14% respectively; by contrast,it had indicated a slight decrease in Japan ,then reminded approximate 3% in the corresponding period .Subsequently,fluctuation showed ,but had been predicted that the rate of the elder was going to descend around 10% in both USA and sweden.After 1980,the number of Japanese old people had been consistently toward an upward trend .The portion of population above age 65 in Japan will overtake it of Sweden and USA in(around?) 2030.Clearly,the circumstances of USA,Sweden and Japen will reach the similar point.。

雅思小作文求批改+评论 内容：剑桥8 test 2

第一段changes -----varies

第二段spending---expenditure on this leaped by 10%, reaching the proportion of 50%

第四段There was a downward trend. It decreased from 28% in 1981 to 22% in 1991. Consequently, it descended to only 5% in 2001.最好连成一句吧 There was a downward trend, which subsided from 28% in 1981 to 22% in 1991, and consequently descended to merely 5% 10 years later

第五段experienced up and down---fluctuated,spending---expense

结尾 时态不大对。按你原来的可以改成 In a word, the most principal segment turned out to be the salaries of teachers, occupying approximately half of the overall expenditure. The fluctuation of spending on other issues, such as insurance and resources, could be witnessed as well.

雅思考试对于一些小作文有哪些小技巧？

1. 饼图条图线图： 记住这四个词：“趋势，极值，拐点，关系”，引申出来的一些表达：趋势上升下降（急升急降，缓升缓降，保持不变等）；极值点必须描写（reach the top、bottom类似表达要会）；拐点必须描写（描写拐点善用连接词）；关系就是比较（如A是B的几倍、几分之几等） 2. 地图：看图说话，如果是比较就是上课Eileen老师说的“大家来找茬”；如果是选址题，就描述，善用连接词善用第三人称做主语。

如图里有个CAR PARK，很多同学会写There is a park…但用第三人称作主语，如Residents can park their cars at the car park which located…这样会显得巧妙不少！。

帮忙看看这篇雅思小作文有什么问题能拿几分剑桥4test2task1

The most dominant mode of travel in both years was by car,the travel distance of which experienced over 50% increase,from 3,199 miles in 1985 to 4,806 miles in 2000.The most dominant mode 是主语 was by car，作何解 experienced an over 50% increase,increase 是可数的Other ways of travel also rose 130 miles during the 15 years and remained the second most commonly used transportation,followed by taking train with an 80 miles/person/year increase by 2000.这句话让人confusingremained the second most which one remained the secondThere was a decrease of the use of local bus，句型很好，介词错误把of改为in结尾太简单。

【求好心的老师可以细批一下我的雅思作文100分送上作文是剑桥五text

The first chart illustrates what is the main reason for study among different age students. The second chart indicates how much support (is) received from employers in different age group. As can be seen, the percentage of those who study for career saw (sees) a fall with the age grown (grows). But ,while the percentage of (whose 改为 those) who study for interest is increasing and the proportion of employers support(s) hits a bottom in the age group (of) 30-39.(For those) Under 26, (the) proportion of those who study for career(s) (stand 改为 is standing) at 80% that (study) for interest (is) only at 10%. However , with the age grown (grows) that (study) for career decreases to just over 20% in (the) group of over 49 that (study) for interest rises to 70%.The proportion of employer support reaches at over 60% in the group of under 26, and experiences a downward trend ,bottom(s) at (just) over 30% in (the) group of 30-39, before rising (again), which grows to over 40% in (the) group of over 49.其实你写得非常之好，文体结构和语法运用正确，无须更改，只是有一些错漏，为了方便你可以知道错在那里，我用括号把修改了的括著.另外你问楼上为甚麽with the age grows 而不是with the age growing，这个你只要看你自己写的最后一句 which grows to over 40% in the group of over 49. 便应该知道是同一原因.还有一样要提醒你的是： that 和 which 的准确标点符号法.that 之前是不用逗号的，但which之前则一定要用逗号，这是一个重要的英语文法.请切记！。

麻烦哪位高手 帮我看看这篇雅思小作文,感谢！

是翻译吗？

剑5 Test2任务1

两列图说明，显示了两个理由五学生中学习年龄（在26-over 49）和支持的环境下，雇主。

它显示了一个中等下降为工作学习的学生，在年龄上。有80%的学生（在26年岁之间的职业，学习是大概四倍以上49年岁学生们。然而，随着年龄的增长，发展趋势的研究兴趣的学生把描述一种巨大的上涨，从微薄的10%（在26）的70%(49)。巧合的，在年龄33 - 41，两个两个原因是占40%的总数。

当它是指雇主的比例支持，均下降62%的股价在组（26）下到磐石为数不多的底时（32%），这是1:6 7,1:23,1：前反弹。

最重要的是，如果两个形图被视为其中，读者可以从中发现，高的学生所占的比例（工作）下的年龄群26）是缠绕着强烈的雇主支持。

望采纳

谢谢

剑10 test1 小作文什么意思

剑10test1小作文，家用能源和气体排放The above two charts depict the Austrilianhousehold energy use and the corresponding gas emissions of each type of energyuse.From the first pie chart we could see thatwater heating and heating are two major types of energy use, which occupies 30%and 42% of all the energy used in one household. Other appliances use 15% ofthe energy, and then refrigeration, lighting and cooling, which share the left13% of energy.Figures in the second chart are quitedifferent from that of the first chart. Heating, which consumes 42% of a householdsenergy, only emits 15% of all the gas that one household produces. But the gasemission and energy use of water heating are pretty even, at around 30%. Costs only7% of all the energy, refrigeration produces 14% of all the gas, which goes forthe condition of other appliances and the figures are 15% and 28%, and for thecondition of lighting, 4% and 8%. Cooling consumes 2% of energy and contributesto 3% of gas emission.To sum up, water heating and heatingconsume 72% of energy and produces only 47% of gas. Refrigeration and otherappliances, though only use 22% of energy, emit 42% of gas.大作文， 教小孩是非观要不要从小时候就开始教， 要不要punishmentIndeed, children need to learn how to tellright from wrong as they grow into adults. But as far as I am concerned, it isbetter for us to teach this ability to them when they are older rather than atan early age. Moreover, certain punishments are required to make sure childrencould behave themselves.For starter, it would be easier for us toteach children about the difference between right and wrong when they becomeolder. Young children, due to their lack of life experience, have difficultiesin understanding moral lectures. However, after they grow up a little, theycould better digest the meaning of what is right and wrong based on their pastexperience, thus will grasp the notion of right and wrong more easily andthoroughly.Similarly, older children tend to know moreabout punishment, and will be able to learn from the punishment caused by theirfail to recognize the distinction between right and wrong. Punishment mighthave long-lasting influences on younger children for they are too fragile. Olderchildren, on the other hand, could handle punishment more with ease and couldfigure out the reason they got punished. Therefore, they could gain betterunderstanding about right and wrong than younger children do.The sort of punishment for parents andteachers to use whey they are trying to teach children about good behavior is asubtle issue. But the function of punishment is undeniable. It is necessary topunish a child because of his or her wrong acting. I suggest to use criticizeor physical training, such as asking children to do cleaning, as punishment.To conclude, teaching children about rightand wrong should be waited until children become older. Accompanied by certainways of punishment, the teaching process would be more productive.。

10.02雅思作文题目是什么啊？大小都要

2014年10月2日雅思写作真题 小作文：The first chart below shows the number of people per square kilometers in six countries in 2003. The second chart shows the percentage of urban population change from 2003 to 2005.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.大作文：Government funding should only be provided for the best students as scholarships. Other funding of universities should come from student fees and private organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree？范文：Funding issues of universities as non-profit organizations are always worth debating, such as the utilization and diffusion of the funding and rational source of the funding. Some people support the idea that funding from government can only be used as scholarships for the best students, and funding for universities can just come from student fees and private organizations rather than government.Initially, there is no denying that using government funding as scholarships to inspire students who really work hard and well is reasonable and acceptable. Nonetheless, the funding should be more multifunctional instead of providing scholarships only. Another main function of funding from government is that students from financially limited families who cannot afford their study or living in universities should be supported financially, no matter whether they belong to best students or not. Compared with offering scholarships for few students, students aid aiming at providing fair educational opportunities to students in privileged families is more necessary.On the other hand, some researches of universities need to be sponsored. Researches concerning new technologies can often easily find funding from some companies due to its economic value of the outcome of researches, whereas some researches in relevance to social science, such as policy study, are facing a serious problem lack of financial support. What is obvious is that government funding as a multifunctional funding for universities should cover this area.Utilization of funding for universities ought to be various and diverse, and hereby an open funding pool for universities is quite necessary. Apparently, it is not a rational structure of funding sources that majority of funding come from government, student fees and private organizations. Other channels for funding sources, namely, need establishing, i.e. donations from individuals and financially sponsoring from companies.To summarize, of many funding sources, government funding is the most indispensable one, the function of which ought to be maximized, covering scholarships, students aid, and researches and so forth. Simultaneously, a diversified and sufficient funding pool is regarded as a prerequisite supporting multi-functional funding for universities. （参考自无忧雅思网）。