剑桥11test2写作范文

剑桥雅思真题11测试有没有对应的高分范文

在备考雅思的过程中，最重要的一个环节就是做剑桥雅思的真题。真题可以充分模拟雅思考试的难度并让大家熟悉出题的思路，所以考雅思的同学几乎每个人都有几本真题。剑桥雅思11真题http://peixun.liuxue315.edu.cn/article/31792.shtml?ozs=31460-2709，但是光做真题也是不够的。因为我除了做真题之外，还要认真研究自己做错的题，我们要明白为什么会做错；我还要研究字蒙对的题，要了解为什么要选择这样的选项。

剑桥雅思6test2 小作文,高手来估分,谢谢

"per person per year" can be used in speaking but not academic writing.

You should not use "we" in academic writing as well.

"the chart describe us" is a translation of Chinese which has a grammar mistake. It should be "the chart tells us" but unfortunately, not in academic writing again. U may use "the chart shows that the trend of travelling more often than before。

What do u mean "As the car saw a dramatic growth"? I guess its another grammar mistake.

"In sum" should be "in conculsion" or "In summary".

Generally speaking, your essay is not bad but it should not be scored over 6. One of the reason is that you just list all the figures rather than comparing them. For example, it would be much better if you said "Taxi is more popular because its recent figure is more than 3 times than the previous one."

The other reason is you didnt point out the trend that people prefer to go further. Thats why the usage of car, long distance bus and taxi increases but walking and bicycle drops.

I suggest that you should spend 2-3 mimutes to analyse and find out the relationship between the figures first. Then you can start writing.

Practicing more helps you to improve your writing skill. Good luck and fighting!

请帮我批改一下这篇雅思作文（剑9test3小作文）

The four pie charts reveal information on the ages of the populations in 2000 and projections for 2050 in two countries, namely Yemen and Italy.

In Yemen, the populations under 14 years old was the biggest part (50%) in2000, but it will be a sharply decrease reach 37% in 2050. On the contrary, the time from 2000 to 2050 witnessed a dramatically rise by 11% of the populations between 15 to 59 years old. Similarly, there is a smoothly increase of the population above 60 years old around 2%.

The second two charts of Italy shows the proportion of population under 14 years old is decline slightly to 11.5%. In addition, the ratio of populations which between 15 and 59 years old presents a hugely slump by 15% from 2000 to 2050. However, the rate of population above 60 years old compared with that in 2050, it is doubled.

Overall, people above 60 years old are the main populations in 2050 of Yemen. Although, in Italy the population between 15 to 59 years old occupies 46.2% in 2050,but the percentage of old people is 42.3% and more higher than that in Yemen.

改了一些错误拼写和语法

剑桥雅思2 test2 section4文本！谢谢！

So far, in these lectures, weve been looking at crimes like robbery and murder, both from historical view of point and also in contemporary society. And weve seen the preoccupation of western societies with crime and with lawlessness is a pile of long and continuous tradition rather than something which is null and unique to modern society. But over the past 70 years or so, theres been a massive increase in one type of crime which was whats known as corporate crime. Corporate crime is crime which as the name suggests, is connected with companies, with business organizations. It includes illegal acts leader, individuals or a group within a company. But what is important is that these actors normally in accordance with the goals of the company. Theyre for the good of the company rather than the individual. Its been defined as, quote, crime which is committed for the corporate organization, the company, not against it, unquote. So crimes like theft by employees, things like。

err。 embezzlement or fraud against ones actual employer are excluded, according to this definition. The employees maybe involve but theyre acting in the first place for the company. They may not even realize that they commit a crime, or they may realize but they feel its excusable because its policy, or because otherwise they may lose their jobs. So here were really talking about the links between power and crime. Now this is one area that much less generally known about the conventional or traditional crime. Its been relatively ignored by the mass media. For example, it tends to be underreported in comparison with conventional crime in news broadcasts and in crime series of films and so on. They very rarely deal with corporate crime. And it also tends to be ignored in academic circles, as being far more research on conventional crime and far more data is available.。

雅思作文批改剑2 test1 小作文（高分求修改）

The (graph 是曲线图，应该是表table才对) gives information about the consumer durables owned in the UK over the period from 1972 to 1983.As can be seen from the table, the greatest increase （可以考虑加上during this period）was found in telephone ownership, rising from 42% in 1972 to 77% in1983. Next came central heating ownership, which rose considerably by 27%, form37% in 1972 to 64% in 1983. The percentage of households with a refrigerator grew 21% during the same period and of those with a washing machine by 14%. In addition, households with vacuum-cleaners, televisions and dishwashers increased by 8%, 5% and 2% respectively.In the year of 1983 their introduction,television ownership stayed in top position in terms of households with, which is about 20 times larger than (telephone错了，应该是 dishwasher 才对哦！) ownership. It is also interesting to notice that 18% of households had a video recorder in 1983. (Of course the reason was because they were the new invention of that time！这句是的替你加上的，你不须一定要接受。

)（Another new invention was the dishwasher, their figures only started to show from the year 1978,also because they are kind of luxury, too expensive and no really a nessesity. Therefore they showed a very slow increase from 3% to only 5% in five years 这是的替你补充的，同样是，你可以加或不加上去都任随你。）In conclusion, there were striking differences in percentage of households with in(within 是一个字) the 11 years spanning from 1972 through 1983.原文写得甚好，只有一个明显的错处（把 telephone 当作 dishwasher）。

另外，我替你加长了一些以供参考，你可以接受或不接受都由你。希望会对你有帮助，若满意请及时采纳，如有不明可以继续追问，谢谢。

这个是剑桥7 test4 的小作文,请大家帮忙改一下,谢谢啦！！

The given pie charts illustrate unites of electricity production by fuel score (coal, oil, natural gas, hydro power and nuclear power) in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.这里没能完全描述出图表的主要特征。

且首段过于简单，记住首段是面子，一定要写的漂亮。As can be seen from these charts, the units of electricity by different categories of fuel were various in two countries in the different years. Specifically, in 1980, approximately half of the electricity units were produced by coal ,which shared the same production with natural gas (only 25 units) in France. The electricity units/delete production by natural gas were 20 units in Australia. In terms of//用词不准确，和后面的半句意义一样，整句就是重复累赘，production by oil and hydro power , the units of electricity produced by hydro power were 20 units, which were four times /加greater/ than those in France, however, only 10 units of electricity were made/generated by oil in Australia, which were half of those in France. To our surprise , nuclear power made 15 units of electricity in France and none of any/the others contributed /as much to the electricity/power supply in France.In 2002, the majority of//不能这样用 electricity was produce/d by coal ( 130 units) in Australia, which still made the same quantity /units/删掉（25 units） in France. Clearly, the dominant production of electricity was by nuclear power in France with the amount of 126 units. Natural gas and oil produced very little//口语化，书面语少用very// electricity (only 2 units) in Australia. The France had the/a similar quantity by natural gas and hydro power.Overall, these figures lead us to /the/ conclusion that coal is the major source to produce electricity in Australia while nuclear power played a significant role in production of electricity in France.我一直不知道小作文要怎么才能进步，每次都会超时，用大概25分钟才能写完，而且字数都超很多（超过200）。

请各位指导一下我，该怎么在不到一个月的时间内提高小作文。如何避免在把信息点都描述清楚后字数不会超。

万分感谢！！估计你小作文超时的原因有二，第一，不是很熟悉图表作文的套话，或者说写作模板准备不够，第二，对小作文的要求理解不到位，当然也有可能是你对如何抓住图表的main features的技巧掌握的还不娴熟。这也就导致你时间花的过多，且写出来的东西就像我们的伟大祖国一样，大而漏洞百出问题多多。

小作文就是要求短小精悍，150词能解决就不需要200或更多。多了反而更容易出错，所谓言多必失。

针对这样的问题，你可以首先多看些小作文的范文，掌握一些通用的结构和规律，在练习中提炼你自己的常用句型和模板，考试时能做到提笔就写拿来就用。再就是小作文要求得很清楚，抓住图表的主要特征进行描述就好，无需太过在意次要细节。

每个图表或者数据都是在讲一个问题，你要看出这个问题就好了，不需要面面俱到的。这篇文章你去对照一下后面的范文就知道其实要拿高分，完全不需要描述所有的信息点。

这个文章抓住电力增长很快，同时澳洲主要靠煤，法国主要靠核能这两个点就好了。如果你不确定是不是看图分析能力还不够的话，你可以先用中文写写小作文，或者把自己的小作文翻译成中文，然后给你的父母同学朋友看看，让他们评价一下你的文章在抛开语言的前提下是否完成了描述图表主要特征的任务。

如果没有，那你首先要考虑提高看图能力。相信在你理解了小作文的得分点和技巧后，会很快上手的。

还是那句话，雅思一点都不可怕，加油。