批改作文 剑七 test2 task2

"基本完成了任务，5.5分 具体点评如下：点评1 Nowadays,a hot and important contraversy /controversy concerning the problem whether the punishments for each type of crimes should be fixed.全句没有谓语，而且whether 后面也不是句子。

这种错误一定要避免。可以在important后面加 is. Whether 后面可改成：whether punishments for each type of crime should be fixed 2 Some people contend that the consistent punishments seems to be fairer and more clearly/clear.while a large amount proporation/去掉 of people advocate that it depends on individual situation.I will present and analyde both views here.取其把题目几乎不做改动的抄一遍，可以选择其他的开篇方式，people have various opinions concerning whether punishments for each type of crime should be fixed. As for me， + 观点3 The first plain truth I want to emphasize here is that every crimes/crime has its own reasons and results/不相关，去掉，it can not be divided/judged simplity/simply from one aspect. So that the decision which considered/consider different circumstance turns to be positive reasonable. 论证有些浅，可以深度解释，也可举例，否则就成了喊口考了Furthermore, with the complicate motivation and action, there has/is not a boundry/boundary line/去掉 between two similar commitment in current days. The flexible punishment system will not fail to be one good way to show the society that the government care about them, and thus ,the general public are able to participate more in government policy determination/policy-making. Last but not least,the sdandadization of law has been improved rapidly in these years. Even two crimes lead to the same result, one's original intension to commite should be taking account /should be taken into account to replect/replace the regular law setup.4 Admittedly, fixed punishments have some merits. Under the fixed punishment system, the law enforcement officials have definite rules to follow. The crimes will make up some excuses for themselves to get/gain the jury's simpathy/sympathy , and escape from the judgment they due to/are due to receive. But with the developed law system, this problem can be solved efficiently. 跑题了这一段有一半是跑题的，要谈固定刑罚的理由，而不是如果避免法庭上不公平5 In conclusion,altough/although fixed punishment policy has deniable/undeniable advantages, I regard the flexible system as a better choice. It is the best way for us to get a clear perspevtive/perspective of what teh/the crimes got/what type of punishment law offenders should get relied on/according to their crimes what they have done/去掉.with such a perspective, we can own a more peaceful society."。

批改作文 剑七 test2 task2

"基本完成了任务，5.5分 具体点评如下：点评1 Nowadays,a hot and important contraversy /controversy concerning the problem whether the punishments for each type of crimes should be fixed.全句没有谓语，而且whether 后面也不是句子。

这种错误一定要避免。可以在important后面加 is. Whether 后面可改成：whether punishments for each type of crime should be fixed 2 Some people contend that the consistent punishments seems to be fairer and more clearly/clear.while a large amount proporation/去掉 of people advocate that it depends on individual situation.I will present and analyde both views here.取其把题目几乎不做改动的抄一遍，可以选择其他的开篇方式，people have various opinions concerning whether punishments for each type of crime should be fixed. As for me， + 观点3 The first plain truth I want to emphasize here is that every crimes/crime has its own reasons and results/不相关，去掉，it can not be divided/judged simplity/simply from one aspect. So that the decision which considered/consider different circumstance turns to be positive reasonable. 论证有些浅，可以深度解释，也可举例，否则就成了喊口考了Furthermore, with the complicate motivation and action, there has/is not a boundry/boundary line/去掉 between two similar commitment in current days. The flexible punishment system will not fail to be one good way to show the society that the government care about them, and thus ,the general public are able to participate more in government policy determination/policy-making. Last but not least,the sdandadization of law has been improved rapidly in these years. Even two crimes lead to the same result, one's original intension to commite should be taking account /should be taken into account to replect/replace the regular law setup.4 Admittedly, fixed punishments have some merits. Under the fixed punishment system, the law enforcement officials have definite rules to follow. The crimes will make up some excuses for themselves to get/gain the jury's simpathy/sympathy , and escape from the judgment they due to/are due to receive. But with the developed law system, this problem can be solved efficiently. 跑题了这一段有一半是跑题的，要谈固定刑罚的理由，而不是如果避免法庭上不公平5 In conclusion,altough/although fixed punishment policy has deniable/undeniable advantages, I regard the flexible system as a better choice. It is the best way for us to get a clear perspevtive/perspective of what teh/the crimes got/what type of punishment law offenders should get relied on/according to their crimes what they have done/去掉.with such a perspective, we can own a more peaceful society."。

求：雅思 剑6 TEST3 WRITING TASK2高分范文

不能给你直接的答案 但你可以看看 雅思写作 套路分析和范例大全这本书 的一个范例 这两个答案很近似在p170 上 你自己可以去下个电子版看看 那个的原题是 some people argue that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrants o a new country. An alternative view is that they can adapt to a new environement by establishing a minority community. Discuss theese two views and give your opinion.。

剑10 test1 小作文什么意思

剑10test1小作文，家用能源和气体排放The above two charts depict the Austrilianhousehold energy use and the corresponding gas emissions of each type of energyuse.From the first pie chart we could see thatwater heating and heating are two major types of energy use, which occupies 30%and 42% of all the energy used in one household. Other appliances use 15% ofthe energy, and then refrigeration, lighting and cooling, which share the left13% of energy.Figures in the second chart are quitedifferent from that of the first chart. Heating, which consumes 42% of a household'senergy, only emits 15% of all the gas that one household produces. But the gasemission and energy use of water heating are pretty even, at around 30%. Costs only7% of all the energy, refrigeration produces 14% of all the gas, which goes forthe condition of other appliances and the figures are 15% and 28%, and for thecondition of lighting, 4% and 8%. Cooling consumes 2% of energy and contributesto 3% of gas emission.To sum up, water heating and heatingconsume 72% of energy and produces only 47% of gas. Refrigeration and otherappliances, though only use 22% of energy, emit 42% of gas.大作文， 教小孩是非观要不要从小时候就开始教， 要不要punishmentIndeed, children need to learn how to tellright from wrong as they grow into adults. But as far as I am concerned, it isbetter for us to teach this ability to them when they are older rather than atan early age. Moreover, certain punishments are required to make sure childrencould behave themselves.For starter, it would be easier for us toteach children about the difference between right and wrong when they becomeolder. Young children, due to their lack of life experience, have difficultiesin understanding moral lectures. However, after they grow up a little, theycould better digest the meaning of what is right and wrong based on their pastexperience, thus will grasp the notion of right and wrong more easily andthoroughly.Similarly, older children tend to know moreabout punishment, and will be able to learn from the punishment caused by theirfail to recognize the distinction between right and wrong. Punishment mighthave long-lasting influences on younger children for they are too fragile. Olderchildren, on the other hand, could handle punishment more with ease and couldfigure out the reason they got punished. Therefore, they could gain betterunderstanding about right and wrong than younger children do.The sort of punishment for parents andteachers to use whey they are trying to teach children about good behavior is asubtle issue. But the function of punishment is undeniable. It is necessary topunish a child because of his or her wrong acting. I suggest to use criticizeor physical training, such as asking children to do cleaning, as punishment.To conclude, teaching children about rightand wrong should be waited until children become older. Accompanied by certainways of punishment, the teaching process would be more productive.。

求高手点评雅思“小作文”（剑7 Test2 Task1 ）

感觉还不错啊~词语和句式较为多变，介词用得也准确，数据抓取得也合理。

表达年份时，可以有多种方式，除了直接写年份的数字，也可以说the year of 2004,the 2004 year等；表示“从图中看出”这个意思，还可以用from the graph,we can see。xxx is shown(illustated, outlined。

)from the tableit could be easily seen that 。多背几个，等你一想表达这个意思时，可以随时调用。

总结段一般还是必要的，加上会显得比较完整。写小作文可以写得很精彩，但是主要还是能把图描述准确，不要每句看起来都是一种结构，总之多背些句式是好的，到最后写起来会得心应手。

请高手批改雅思作文！ 题目：task1,test3,剑桥5

应该说语言的应用应该算是成功的。

但文章的解题思路有些乱，这也是流程图的大忌。此图应从S1和S2周边的基础设施分类来分析，不用特别涉及到哪个具体城镇来，否则就会失去整体感。

因为凌乱。所以本文是5.5 分The map illustrates the two possible locations for a new planned supermarket(S) for the town of Garlson whose population is 65,000.It can be seen clearly from the map that the Garlson town is made up of four parts. In the middle is the town centre,surrounded by the housing part at each the north and south side of which is an industrial part./这句话很混乱，可以调整为：situated in the middle, the town center is surrounded by an industrial part in both north and south side.All of the above three parts are surroundede by the countryside as a whole.Both the two possible sites for the new supermarket,S1 and S2,have a railway nearby.The difference of the two locations are as follows.S2 is in the town centre and it has access to three main roads to three places(Hindon,Bransdon and Cransdon) with a total population of 54,000.However,S1 located in the countrside with only one main road available to Hindon(population,10,000).It is easy to draw a conclusion from the map that, in comparison with S1,S2 is relatively better in terms of transportation available and the number of people the new supermarket may serve.。

麻烦哪位高手 帮我看看这篇雅思小作文,感谢！

是翻译吗？

剑5 Test2任务1

两列图说明，显示了两个理由五学生中学习年龄（在26-over 49）和支持的环境下，雇主。

它显示了一个中等下降为工作学习的学生，在年龄上。有80%的学生（在26年岁之间的职业，学习是大概四倍以上49年岁学生们。然而，随着年龄的增长，发展趋势的研究兴趣的学生把描述一种巨大的上涨，从微薄的10%（在26）的70%(49)。巧合的，在年龄33 - 41，两个两个原因是占40%的总数。

当它是指雇主的比例支持，均下降62%的股价在组（26）下到磐石为数不多的底时（32%），这是1:6 7,1:23,1：前反弹。

最重要的是，如果两个形图被视为其中，读者可以从中发现，高的学生所占的比例（工作）下的年龄群26）是缠绕着强烈的雇主支持。

望采纳

谢谢

雅思小作文求批改+评论 内容：剑桥8 test 2

第一段changes -----varies

第二段spending---expenditure on this leaped by 10%, reaching the proportion of 50%

第四段There was a downward trend. It decreased from 28% in 1981 to 22% in 1991. Consequently, it descended to only 5% in 2001.最好连成一句吧 There was a downward trend, which subsided from 28% in 1981 to 22% in 1991, and consequently descended to merely 5% 10 years later

第五段experienced up and down---fluctuated,spending---expense

结尾 时态不大对。按你原来的可以改成 In a word, the most principal segment turned out to be the salaries of teachers, occupying approximately half of the overall expenditure. The fluctuation of spending on other issues, such as insurance and resources, could be witnessed as well.