托福tpo 10 独立写作求改

我嘴比较毒，不要见怪啊

1.正式英语里面but,and,so不要拿来开头

2.I disagree with the point that children should not be permitted to play computer games

我不赞同儿童不该被允许玩电脑游戏的观点 如果你要state your point，尽量用最简洁的句子

3. I think computer games。 这种句子前面去掉i think会让别人觉得这就是客观的，更有力一点

4. And playing computer games is a fantastic method for them to relieve this kind of feeling. They can immerse them in a world of game and forget the problems for a moment. 问题一：前面还是单数，后面就they了 问题二；指代不清 they 和them是什么？and是并列的话 they forget the problems for a moment是电脑游戏暂时忘记了问题吗

5.Children,provide..with。用的太多 ridiculous偏口语化 诸位不一致的情况很多啊，they must from a team ,children's intellectual level,children must have a sensitive reaction,good response ability。

6.因为我在一所国际学校学了三年，老师告诉我们他觉得学生写作最大的三个问题就是1. Use big words 2. Not specific 3. more examples than explanation. 文章里的people是谁？老师家长么？ 既然后面已经解释了玩游戏也是有好处的，to some extent就显得没有意义了. Build good characteristics具体是什么？为什么后面只举了一个团队合作的例子？

Some people may think it is ridiculous, but here are some examples.这句话太可怕了！！！

这篇文章里开头结尾两段掐掉，body paragraphs里面例子完全多过解释，要是写SAT作文还可以，但是放在一个偏argumentive essay里面简直%#……%#……啊。 逻辑性要加强，logic一定要大于emotion

TPO1的独立作文帮我批改一下

Some people may think that university should use all the money to support students` classes and libraries, but I have a different idea.

When it comes to the statement that sports and social activities deserve the equal financial support with classes and libraries, I strongly agree. I think the most essential reason is that I

believe students can increase their social abilities from playing sports and

taking part in the social activities.

TPO1的独立作文帮我批改一下

Some people may think that university should use all the money to support students` classes and libraries, but I have a different idea. When it comes to the statement that sports and social activities deserve the equal financial support with classes and libraries, I strongly agree. I think the most essential reason is that I believe students can increase their social abilities from playing sports and taking part in the social activities. ( good writing)I would like to use my own experience as an example. In the past, I was really shy, and I was afraid to talking with strangers, even with my classmates who was not have many communications with me. I would like touse my own experience as an example. In the past, I was really shy, and I wasafraid of talking with strangers, even with my classmates who were those did not have many communications with me. After coming to university, I found that it was difficult to in the environment when others were always had activities with each people. After coming to university, I found that it was difficult to get along with people in the environment when others were always had activities with each people. But things have changed since I took part in football game. Playing football make me feel confident, and there was no difficulty when I talked with my new friends met in the playground. But things have changed since I took part in football game. Playing football make me feel confident, and there was no difficulty when I talked with my new friends I met in the playground. Instead of playing sports, taking part in the social activities can also increase your social abilities like communication skill and writing skill. In addition to taking sports, taking part in the social activities can also increase your social abilities like communication skill and writing skill. But learning social skills is not the whole advantage. People who study their own subjects in the classroom or library all the semester would have low perspective. It really can`t make their future life more colorful. We should experience many different things in our life to extend our library and make preparation for future challenge. We should experience different things in our life to extend our knowledge and make preparation for future challenge. For instance, Intel company was collecting the African`s life style and their body features, because they want to make sure that if most African are willing to use their production in the future they can use those information to manufacture the production which is appropriate for African. For instance, Intel company are collecting information about the African`slife style and their body features, because they want to make sure if most African are willing to use their products in the future. The company wants to use those information in the manufacture of their products that are suitable to African. So increasing the perspective is significant factor for future. So rasing the perspective is significant factor for future. At last, I want to point that a good sports and social activities environment would help students raise the efficiency when they gathering knowledge. At last, I want topoint out that a good environment with sports and social activities would help students raise the efficiency when they are gathering knowledge. According to the research, people who have one or two hours exercise everyday have a higher working efficiency than the person who has no exercise. According to the research, people who have one or two hours exercise everyday have a higher working efficiency than those who have no exercise. Another example is that I was really good at math when I was just a little child, but now I can`t reach that level. When I tried to find the reason for that phenomenon, I realized that studying music can assist students to learning math, it is real thing that I used to playing piano in the past. When I tried to find the reason for that phenomenon, I realized that studying music could assist me to learning math better, the fact was I used to play piano in the past. So trying more things would make your brain particularly vital. In summary, the introduction of increasing social abilities, extending the perspective and making brain particularly vital. In summary, more social abilities will extend our perspective andmake our brain particularly vital. For those reasons, it seems obvious to me that sports and social activities should have equal financial support with classes and libraries. based on the above reasons, it is obvious to me that sports and social activities deserve the same equal financial support as classes and libraries. This conclusion would really help students increase the。

求托福改作文 独立写作

1.第一段秀语言是好事，但不必过度，会导致阅卷人阅读困难。建议长短句结合。

2.第二段“As diversity is becoming a more indispensable component of universities and college, sports and social activities are more crucial parts of the high-quality education""成为一个更加必不可少的成分”可以，但后面的“more"翻译不通啊

3.第二段”It's hard to judge a person according to whose academic achievement.“这一句从句部分不完整。要么It is hard to judge a person according to his/her academic achievement，要么It is hard to judge a person according to whose academic achievement is。.第二种说法本身也有问题，“根据的是谁的学业怎么样”翻译不恰当。所以建议你用第一种。

4.pay more attention to后面要加动名词，这里“to"是介词。pay more attention to bringing up。

5.If they didn't see sports and social activities as indispensable components, they would be less attractive to excellent students.主语”they"与前指代的内容单复数不一致。应该是如果学校不把。但你前面提到的学校是单数

6.第三段“devote 。into。" ; be lack of ability "of" keeping balance "among"。.. ;

7。第四段第一句"due to"后面是不能跟句子的，用”because“

8.Admittedly后面要加逗号

9.the expense for。。"is" crucial

10. Admittedly the expense for classes and libraries are crucial, but more financial support for sports and social activities is also necessary for the reason that it will enhance the awareness of students to take part in more activities besides to study.后面的部分强行使用从句非常糟糕。建议分成几个简单句。The expense for classes and libraries is crucial. So is the financial support for sports and activities. As a result, besides study, the awareness of taking part in those sports and activities enhance a lot.

11.托福写作的分论点要求 观点+原因+例子。你的分论点互相交织，不清晰。你的文章过分阐述，没有任何细节例证

12.托福写作的结尾要求 总结分论点+期盼。你的重述分论点不完整。

13.文中的“more"用得太多，换别的，如the increasing number of..

14.注意段落间的衔接。多用过渡词，如first and foremost,in addition, furthermore, what is more

15.文章努力用难句，长句，语法表现出你积极向上的一面，但要基于基础，不要随意造句，生涩的用从句+从句的方式。尽量用自己读到过的句子

tpo独立写作范文,如何达到tpo独立写作范文的标准

其二，逻辑清晰，论据具体。

tpo独立写作范文要求展开充分。要求我们在保持平衡的基础上有所侧重。

论述一个问题，一定要做到在某些方面有所倾向，但是对其他的观点也要稍微着些笔墨。在论述时，需要具体合适的例子作为论据，来支持论点。

例子不在于多少，而在于是否贴切，不要生搬硬套。其四，语言。

tpo独立写作范文的语言需要达到准确、流畅、丰富三个基本标准。准确要求在拼写、语法、用词上没有错误，以及一些搭配要准确，这是基本的。

流畅则是读起来要顺口，行文一气呵成使得逻辑清晰。语言的丰富体现了考生的语言能力，注意用词的时候尽量避免重复。

一些修辞手法的运用更能体现语言的丰富。一篇标准的tpo独立写作范文主要做到以上几点就可以了。

相信这样的分析能对广大考生有所帮助。

托福写作该如何提分？综合写作和独立写作该怎么提高？

想要提高托福写作提分，重点是要看考试的评分要求，并且对照自己的情况，做针对性的训练。

可以按照以下步骤进行：

一、熟读 OG 上关于写作的评分要求，认真研读官方的满分范文。

二、做一套 TPO 写作题目（包括独立写作和综合写作），找到自己的作文和满分作文的差距。

三、根据内容、结构、语言三个方面的能力强弱，制定一个有针对性的训练计划。

比如，内容方面需要观察生活、积累作文素材；结构方面得研究议论文的写作框架；语言方面要多学习别人地道的表达。如果是听力或者阅读问题，导致综合写作不好，则要强化听力和阅读。

四、做阶段性的能力测试（比如每周做一套 TPO），实时掌握自己的能力提高情况，并对计划作出调整。

TOEFL独立写作的最后一个总结段落的必要性

其实对于段落的分布没有特别大的要求的 你现在写作只有十五分首先应该注重的是语言能力的提高以及听力的提高（综合写作容易上去，方便总体提分） 有语言基础之后大概能保证在20分上下 至于段落结构是到往上拔高才需要考虑的 我写的是五段 开头 加中间三段（包括一个让步段）还有最后一段。

我也出国但时间少只有一个多月准备托福 考了2次 第一次作文20 最后分数不高只有25分。接下来是听力的方法，我听力最后一次是27分，如果你是10多分的水平，刚开始建议听抄，可以只听抄短文 听了半个月后 有20分左右后可以开始跟读 当然所有的过程都要做题 做错的看看原文中答案出现在哪里 培养自己的那种感觉（知道哪里重要听哪里的那种感觉，比如转折，语气什么的）最后你有24分左右可以开始训练听抄跟读科学怪人，可可英语网有，每天好好听抄跟读一篇，注意要语速一样，大概要花一个多小时，但效果很好，之后你就会觉得托福很简单了。

有什么其他的问题还可以追问，希望你能考取一个好成绩拿到一个好offer!。