一、大家帮忙看看,剑8 test4 , 小作文,我这样写几分,到底应该怎么样

恩，首先你的单词量只有159，规定写150个，最好还是多个二十几个的比较好，你这个字数比较危险，考官不会一个个给你数的，你看起来比较少，可能就OVER了哦。

再来，你的开头，就有比较低级的错误，比如，UK，是the uk，或者你写the united kingdom，反正都要加THE。这个问题出现了两次。

其他的细小语法错误都没有，单词拼写错误也没有。

还有后面的curves finally grow， 这个grow 时态不对的，而且还不如用went up比较native，不想和后面的重复也可以用其他的，反正grow但用于末尾很奇怪的。

而且你的开头结尾有问题，你的开头，改写题目，怪怪的，你自己也能感觉到，改成 this line chart illustrates the quantifies/numbers/amount of products/commodities transported by four different types of transportation(namely/viz/i.e. road, water, railway and pipeline) in the united kingdom from 1974 to 2002.

而你最后一段不能继续描述内容了，而是应该做出总结，也就是你在这个基础上应该再写一段，具体点出——在英国，公路运输最受欢迎，而选择水路和管道运输的人也日益增多，而铁路运输的状况一直没有大变化，意味着人们也没有对它变得感兴趣。

有了这个，这篇文章才算完整的。

我估计，如果考官觉得你字数完整，虽然没有总结，但是运用各种词汇和变化性的句式，会给你6分，但是如果考官没有数字数，觉得你内容不完整字数不够，会给你5.5分。

我是个喜欢实话实说的人，其实LZ你的作文功底还不错的，加油吧，相信你一定能改善的，祝你取得满意的成绩。

from：一个同样在为了考试煎熬的烤鸭。

二、剑8 test1 小作文 求评分批改

第一行有个错别字：courses---causes。

第一段对题目改写比较简单，而且后半句和原题比较像。

第三行the most component segment（应该加个这一类的词吧），第四行deforestation的比例写错了，应该是30%。而且说了比上一个低5%，就不用再提具体数了。

第三段it lists 3 causes leading to land degradation in such three regions

而且本段写的有点混乱23%land degraded by the deforestation(9.8%)and over cultivation7.7% and over-gazing5.5% in Europe. 没有谓语动词，而且没有比较

The over-gazing rate makes up 13% and results to land degraded in Oceania.

常用表达the rate/proportion of over-grazing

The over cultivation and over grazing leave 3.7% and1.5%result to land degraded in North America.去掉句首的The, 3.7% and1.5% 后面加个respectively

result to 改成-ing形式吧

本文运气好也许能到6但很有可能是5.5及以下的。因为正文部分语法错误多，表意不明确、而且句式结构有点随意、简单了。

三、求批改剑8 test4的小作文

bottomed at 应该是bottomed out at

还不错的，描述的很详细。但是句式还可以更加丰富，可以用定语从句。还有首句改写不可以仅仅换单词的。

可以这么改写：the line chat illustrates how quantities of goods were transported in UK from 1974 to 2002 through four main modes of transport.

如果要打分的话是6.5

四、雅思小作文求批改+评论 内容：剑桥8 test 2

第一段changes -----varies

第二段spending---expenditure on this leaped by 10%, reaching the proportion of 50%

第四段There was a downward trend. It decreased from 28% in 1981 to 22% in 1991. Consequently, it descended to only 5% in 2001.最好连成一句吧 There was a downward trend, which subsided from 28% in 1981 to 22% in 1991, and consequently descended to merely 5% 10 years later

第五段experienced up and down---fluctuated,spending---expense

结尾 时态不大对。按你原来的可以改成 In a word, the most principal segment turned out to be the salaries of teachers, occupying approximately half of the overall expenditure. The fluctuation of spending on other issues, such as insurance and resources, could be witnessed as well.

五、求大牛雅思小作文批改

The graph describes the portion of the population above aged 65 between 1940 and 2040 in the three countries---USA,Sweden and Japan. As shown in the graph, it is expected to have increments in the rate of old people .

In 1940,the proportion of population above age 65 remained extremely low, as the figure of these countries stood at 9%(in USA),8%(in Sweden) and only 5%(in Japan). However by the end of the 1980 ,the number of old people in USA and Sweden had dramatically grown ,arriving at 15% and 14% respectively; by contrast, it had indicated a slight decrease in Japan ,then reminded approximate 3% in the corresponding period .Subsequently, fluctuation showed ,but had been predicted that the rate of the elder was going to descend around 10% in both USA and sweden.

After 1980, the number of Japanese old people had been consistently toward an upward trend .The portion of population above age 65 in Japan will overtake it of Sweden and USA in(around?) 2030. Clearly,the circumstances of USA,Sweden and Japen will reach the similar point.

六、请问老师们有慎小嶷十天突破雅思写作剑13/14pdf （网盘）吗

电子书介绍

本书是留学英语考试语言专家慎小嶷（Pat）老师的力作。书中紧密结合剑桥大学出版社出版的“剑12”和《剑桥雅思官方指南》（The Official Cambridge Guide to IELTS）所体现出的新趋势，富有创造性地总结出了帮助中国考生突破IELTS写作瓶颈所需的全部应试技巧，并用地道英语对大量语言点进行了深入讲解。书中全部例句均取自近两年中出版的英美本土出版物和剑4——剑12以及《剑桥雅思官方指南》里的官方范文。本书还配有由native speakers外教朗读的音频文件下载，以及方便读者随时随地学习的便携式学习手册，有助于读者高效利用备考时间。

慎小嶷十天突破雅思写作图书目录

致读者英文自序

Day 1其实你不懂雅思写作

多数中国考生无法回答的10个问题 /

My Answers /

Day 2你写的句子读起来为什么“作”

写好3种句子 /

Day 3知错就改——语法和用词的陷阱

中国考生在IELTS作文里最容易失手的词汇总结 /

Day 4经得起推敲的结构

4段式PK 5段式 /

Day 5思维的乐趣——让ideas更充实的秘诀

IELTS作文言之有物的“物”到底是什么 /

头脑风暴≠头脑“疯暴” /

IELTS作文最常用的12条思路线索 /

Day 6带着平常心去写作

——写好议论文展开支持句的秘诀

到底什么是well supported? /

native speakers怎样想展开支持句？/

Day 7别了，“中式英语”——

120急救短语

可以覆盖IELTS议论文全部话题的实用论证短语 /

Day 8真实的高分范文——比你想象的简单

剑桥官方提供的真实范文分析 /

高分范文不是模板的试验场 /

Day 9图表题，能提前写完吗

小作文的3个核心要求 /

决定Task 1成败的基本功 /

开头段的写法 /

介绍数据或描述变化趋势的常用词一网打尽 /

主体段的写法 /

小作文结尾段的写法 /

网页链接

网页链接

网页链接

七、请帮我批改一下这篇雅思作文（剑9test3小作文）

The four pie charts reveal information on the ages of the populations in 2000 and projections for 2050 in two countries, namely Yemen and Italy.

In Yemen, the populations under 14 years old was the biggest part (50%) in2000, but it will be a sharply decrease reach 37% in 2050. On the contrary, the time from 2000 to 2050 witnessed a dramatically rise by 11% of the populations between 15 to 59 years old. Similarly, there is a smoothly increase of the population above 60 years old around 2%.

The second two charts of Italy shows the proportion of population under 14 years old is decline slightly to 11.5%. In addition, the ratio of populations which between 15 and 59 years old presents a hugely slump by 15% from 2000 to 2050. However, the rate of population above 60 years old compared with that in 2050, it is doubled.

Overall, people above 60 years old are the main populations in 2050 of Yemen. Although, in Italy the population between 15 to 59 years old occupies 46.2% in 2050,but the percentage of old people is 42.3% and more higher than that in Yemen.

改了一些错误拼写和语法