剑5t1小作文考官范文

雅思小作文批改（剑5test1）

The graph illustrates the dramatic comparison of the population proportion aged 65 and over from year 1940 to 2040 in three countries.

In Japan, its population proportion started in the year of 1940 at a tendency of going from 5% to approximate 3% in 1960, followed by a stable trend before restarting to the original level in year 2000.

In view of Sweden and USA, which both countries demonstrate a constantly increasing movement of the population, started itself from 7% and 9% to 16% and 14% respectively during the same period as Japan.

It is worth mention that the expected proportions in three countries, especially Japan are blessed with a noticeable rising of population, which raised sharply to 27% over the last two decades. As to the other countries, Sweden and USA have all experienced a moderate increase in population by hitting to 25% and 24% each, although Sweden suffered from a little turbulence in years from 2000 to 2020.

楼主英文水平很好，接近西方的结构写作，但语法稍微注意一下，有个别词汇还是要了解一下运用的方法，（英文同义单词很多，但写作时每个都有不同的用途）。还有尽量不要写数字，像 3 countries 要写成 three countries 看起来会比较正式一点。

我尽量改的都改了，也不会是完全对，只给LZ一个参考。

雅思剑5第一篇小作文,希望大牛帮助改改,顺便给个分数,谢谢-百度

个别单词有拼写错误哦，第二句lower than改为（just） under更好，“but the percentage of Sweden rose more rapidly than USA”,USA前加that of,“between 1990 and 2015 with a peak in 2010 about 20%”,about前面加at. a little bit 最好改为slightly。

“ After 2015 the proportions of all three countries rise dramatically to 2040.”这句话有歧义了，难道是比例上升到2040？另外注意时态，这里最好用将来，表明是推测的。雅思小作文尽量不要出现歧义。

这篇作文整体来讲还是不错的，但是from to貌似用得有些太多了，可以用period,span这样的词来替代下。分数嘛，6.5左右吧。

【雅思剑5test1小作文求评价

The line graph describes some data about the percentage =》是不是可以改成 The line graph describes the percentage。

aged 65 and over =》aged 65 and older As can be seen from this line graph,there is an increasing trend in the number of old people in three countries.More precisely,the percentage of population went up gradually from 9% in 1940 to 15% in 1982 and it will remain stable at 14% in 2018（那个国家？）.After that（去掉？），the proportion of population aged 65 and over is expected to reach 23% in 2040.Similarly（跟什么说similarly，前后说的好像不一样），the proportion of population age 65and over in Sweden accounted for 7% in 1940 to 26% in 2040（对将来数据的预测，时态是否不对？）.While,the percentage of population aged 65 and over in USA remained steady at 5% by the end of 2008,After that,there is a substantial surge and occupies at 27% in 2040（对将来数据的预测，时态是否不对？）.Therefore,it shows that the percentage of 65+ people are soring moderately in the next three decades.（未来三年应该是数据预测，不是shows吧.，另外，soring moderately，适度的飙升？有点矛盾？）soring => soaring。

求大牛雅思小作文批改！题目是剑5 TEXT 1 的小作文,帮忙改下错,

The graph describes the portion of the population above aged 65 between 1940 and 2040 in the three countries---USA,Sweden and Japan. As shown in the graph, it is expected to have increments in the rate of old people .

In 1940,the proportion of population above age 65 remained extremely low, as the figure of these countries stood at 9%(in USA),8%(in Sweden) and only 5%(in Japan). However by the end of the 1980 ,the number of old people in USA and Sweden had dramatically grown ,arriving at 15% and 14% respectively; by contrast, it had indicated a slight decrease in Japan ,then reminded approximate 3% in the corresponding period .Subsequently, fluctuation showed ,but had been predicted that the rate of the elder was going to descend around 10% in both USA and sweden.

After 1980, the number of Japanese old people had been consistently toward an upward trend .The portion of population above age 65 in Japan will overtake it of Sweden and USA in(around?) 2030. Clearly,the circumstances of USA,Sweden and Japen will reach the similar point.

求雅思大神帮忙解惑一下吧

1. yr olds就是year olds的简写，不过考官范文里这么写你可千万别学，自己擅自用的话很可能驾驭不好，在雅思作文里面要尽量避免所有简写，例如不要写cant，而是写cannot。

2. only 40% of 40-49 yr olds and 18% of over yr olds are studying for career reasons in late adulthood.

这句话里面的studying就是现在进行时，表示现在正在发生的动作，因为题目描述里面是正在发生的事，所以就可以用进行时了。

3. There are only 10% of under 26yr olds studying out of interest.

这句话里的studying，是因为studying out of interest是一个修饰语，在修饰26岁以下10%的人，句子翻译成：26岁以下的人只有10%是出于兴趣去学习的。注意之所以用studying。这样的一个verb modifier，而不是用定语从句，是因为studying。修饰的10%，而并不是26yr olds，如果写成There are only 10% of under 26yr olds who study out of interest，句子的翻译就变成了：26岁以下、出于兴趣学习的人里面，这儿只有10%。

4. However 70% of over 49yr olds study for interest in comparison to 18% studying for career reasons.

第一个study用原型，是主句里的谓语动词，第二个studying的原因去上句话一样，是studying for career reasons在修饰18%.

剑桥雅思全真试题4 第一篇小作文范文

The table gives a breakdown of the different types of family who were living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

On average, 11% of all households, comprising almost two million people, were in this position. However, those consisting of only one parent or a single adult had almost double this proportion of poor people, with 21% and 19% respectively.

Couples generally tended to be better off, with lower poverty levels for couples without children (7%) than those with children (12%). It is noticeable that for both types of household with children, a higher than average proportion were living in poverty at this time.

older people were generally less likely to be poor, though once again the trend favoured elderly couples (only 4%) rather than single elderly people (6%).

Overall the table suggests that households of single asults and those with children were more likely to be living in poverty than those consisting of couples.

T0T是不是这个，，累死我了